"In this sticky web that we're all in, behaving decently is no small task." -- Novelist Stacey D'Erasmo

Friday, March 1, 2019

Mixed Feelings

     We're going home tomorrow, after spending a month and a half in the South with relatively warm weather and mostly sunny skies.

     On the one hand, it will be nice to get back to our regular life. Real life, as B says, not the vacation life of our time away. We'll see our friends. Go to a couple of doctor appointments. Get our hair cut at our regular places. B will get back to her church. We'll start classes at our local Center for Learning in Retirement.

This morning in SC
     On the other hand, we're headed into an abyss. There's a storm coming to the Northeast later this weekend. Depending on the track of the storm, it could be rain, it could be mixed precipitation, or it could bring six to eight inches of snow. Isn't it fun to travel when the weather threatens to upend your plans?

     Many Snowbirds stay in the Sunbelt a lot longer than we do. The typical trajectory seems to be: leave after New Year's, come home sometime between the end of March and the beginning of May. On the other end of the spectrum, we know one couple that lives in Florida from October to June. They come north for just a few summer months.

     B and I have considered buying a place in the Sunbelt, and spending more time here -- splitting our lives between the north and south. Right now, looking at the weather report, I'm certainly envious of my friends who are staying here another month or two.

Tomorrow in PA?
     But when all is said and done (and cost aside) we don't like the idea of dividing our lives in two. We like having one home; and then taking a vacation. That way we're centered, and we're around long enough in one place to take advantage of all the activities and opportunities that home has to offer. 

     If we stayed five or six months in one place, and five or six months in another, and then took a vacation or two when we were in neither place, would we really feel part of a community? We couldn't take our classes, wouldn't get to know our neighbors. Would we stay close to our friends? Who would be our primary care physician? And leaving a house or even a condo empty for all that time . . . I think we'd worry about it.

     Or, am I just trying to make myself feel better about returning to the cold and the bad weather? I can't believe that today I went to the beach. Tomorrow, I may be shoveling snow.

12 comments:

DJan said...

That coming storm looks pretty awful. It won't affect us in the Pacific Northwest, but it sure will hit a large section of the Midwest. Good luck! :-)

Olga said...

I completely understand the feeling of wanting to have one place to call home. I am thinking more and more that will be in Florida but it's a hard, hard decision.

gigi-hawaii said...

How would you like being stuck in Hawaii 100% of the time?

Janette said...

The snow came in last night and is already melting. You are in for a week of rain/snow mix by the end of next week. My bfs is in Kansas. She is anticipating -7 on Monday. No Thank You! It is spring in Delaware. Take a coat in your car and enjoy the chilly sunshine when you can.
Welcome home!

Tom said...

Gigi -- Well, come to think of it, that wouldn't be so bad! And it's already spring in Delaware? Things are looking up!

Kathy @ SMART Living 365.com said...

Hi Tom! I get where you are coming from. My Thom and I have talked about the same thing. Fortunately we REALLY like where we live for about 7-8 months of the year. The rest of the time it is just really hot. So much of what makes it a great place to live dissolves (NPI) during the summer because so much of it is seasonal to begin with, so us leaving for those 4 months doesn't interfere with our "community" here. And then spending 8 month here is plenty of time to take advantage of all the good things our area has to offer. Plus, when we go away for 4 months, I don't want to be tied down to just one place...at least not at this point in time. That's when we try to travel to all the places we yet want to see. We all have to decide what works for us huh? Oh, and did I mention it was a balmy 81 here in the desert southwest today ;-) ~Kathy

Diane Dahli said...

I share your preference of living in one place most of the time, and having a 'vacation' that takes me away for a few weeks. I've traveled a lot in my younger years, and admit that the best part was always coming home! I guess that makes me a homebody, which is okay with me. At this stage in life, I love being part of a community, seeing my family and friends regularly, and pursuing my passion (writing) in a familiar setting. Thanks for giving us all an opportunity to examine how we feel about this very important aspect of life, Tom!

David @ iretiredyoung said...

My wife has suggested spending six months in one place and another six in a second home. Like you, I feel that it may mean that we don't make real or deep links with friends and the community in either place, so I'm not keen on the idea.

Wisewebwoman said...

I've observed first hand that kind of lifestyle here and tbh it doesn't last long. No roots are established, the snowbirds are deemed irrelevant by the community as they never ever participate in local affairs or service in any meaningful way. Even catching up when they do return is an exercise in futility. The threads start to fray.

And it'a a lot of work, opening and closing residences. I did it for a while.

XO
WWW

Tabor said...

While I am tired of winter I could not live in Florida with all the old people and all the traffic and the influx of tourists. I think it is an artificial environment in so many ways. Both of my neighbors on each side spend the winters in Florida and one is looking to sell his home up here. But both his daughters live in Florida, so that makes sense to me.

Pam said...

My husband and I are recently retired and decided to rent a second home located nearer our kids,to explore relocation possibilities for the future. We rented a house for one year, thinking the neighborhood setting would give the best preview of what life would be like. Indeed, we have learned quite a bit about the community and have met some great people. In fact, we found a church that we really enjoy attending. The downside has been schlepping between the two homes and keeping both places fully stocked and presentable. Of course, the cost is considerable, also. What we've learned is that renting rather than buying is very valuable when scoping out possible relocation sites. However, if you're looking for a relaxing getaway, it's hard to beat a short term/seasonal rental with amenities.

Barbara said...

I think you might be right about only having one home. I love going but I also love coming home. However, having never had two homes at once, I am far from an expert. It will be fun to hear what you decide.