"In this sticky web that we're all in, behaving decently is no small task." -- Novelist Stacey D'Erasmo

Saturday, February 19, 2022

We Are Old But Are We Wise?

      Older people are supposed to be wise. I think our current crop of seniors has lost some of that reputation -- partly because many older people don't keep up with technology. Younger people make fun of us for not knowing how to work the newest gizmo in the car, for not following the latest social media site.

     We don't know the hippest trends in fashion, movies or music. Were you familiar with the entertainers who sang at the Superbowl? Even stodgy old IBM is reportedly pushing out older workers, calling them "Dinobabies."

     Of course young people probably made fun of their elders back in caveman days for not embracing the newest styles in cave art, and not appreciating the latest design in spears and clubs. But the pace of change is so much faster now. Skills become outmoded. Attitudes become set in stone.

     But does wisdom really involve keeping up with the latest trends? What do you think it takes to achieve wisdom, to be wise?

     I think a wise person first and foremost provides perspective. Older people see things in the context of a larger picture and focus on what's actually important. We don't love our smartphone. We don't love our car. They are just things. They don't love us back.

     We love our children, grandchildren and friends, realizing they are much more rewarding than anything we can purchase. We appreciate experiences more than acquisitions. We know it's important to focus on truly fulfilling things like love, joy, knowledge, memories.

     We also also know some history. We don't panic at the latest news event or daily depressing statistic. We've seen it all before and realize that progress takes time. But we know it happens. That's why so many of us volunteer to help out in our communities -- because it makes a difference.

     Think not just about our longer life expectancy but also the improvement in our daily lives, thanks to everything from knee replacements and heart medications to developments in social and psychological attitudes. And as dangerous as our world is today, it's certainly less perilous than it was during World War II or the Cuban Missile Crisis.

     We also know it's important to have a skill or two, and to keep learning even as we get older. Our brains never get full. As we learn more, what isn't important eventually recedes to the background, but still provides a foundation for incorporating new information into something resembling real truth, rather than passing fancy.

     I think the wise person is skeptical, but not cynical. The cynic takes a dim view of everything. The skeptic is open to new things, but not before testing the veracity of fresh ideas, the sincerity of new people. The wise person is unlikely to fall for the latest demagogue, the newest health panacea, the fad diet.

     We are also aware that we can't research everything ourselves and we choose to believe accepted experts, not the TV huckster or internet sensation. We don't automatically accept that someone is as brilliant as they claim, and we're not necessarily impressed with status or diplomas.  But we don't place ourselves above anyone else either. We are willing to admit we're wrong, willing to accept new points of view.

     The wise person also knows their limits, and will push them, but not gamble their future on untested theories or ideas. Sure, we make mistakes, but we achieve wisdom by learning from our mistakes, not endlessly repeating them. It was John Foster Dulles, secretary of state under President Eisenhower, who told us: "The measure of success is not whether you have a tough problem, but whether it's the same problem you had last year."

17 comments:

Anonymous said...

I find a great benefit of being older (73): I don't throw money at trends and fads.

I use my money judiciously. Let the young pour their money down the drain making someone else rich.

I'd rather use my money to benefit me and my family.

Arkansas Patti said...

I can remember being incredulous that my elders couldn't program their VCRs. Most kids today don't know what those are. You are right, we have seen a lot and much of it was as bad or worse than today. That gives us more patience and we don't hit the panic button so quickly. What we are going through is not fun but we have survived worse.

DJan said...

Now that I am dipping my toes into my ninth decade of life, I am astounded at how much has changed during my brief lifetime. The world is in another one of those scary moments, and although I am worried, I am not panicked as I might have been as a younger person. Thank you for this thoughtful post.

Olga said...

"Yesterday I was clever so I want I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise so I am changing myself." Rumi

Rian said...

This was a thought provoking post, Tom. And I'm not sure what the answer to your question is. It's one of the reasons my blog is 'Older but better...?' and NOT 'Older but wiser'. I don't feel any wiser at 76, but possibly do have more perspective (due to time and experience). However, having said that, I also think that some people are either born wise or attain good judgement earlier than others... or... maybe some are just 'old souls'.

Red said...

Great post and comparison . Lots to think about here.

Tom at Sightings said...

Patti, that reminds me of the time we got our dad a computer and an aol email account in 2001. He said he would use it, but he never did. He just wasn't interested. But still, I'll admit, he had a lot of wisdom hidden behind his old-fashioned ways. Olga, love the Rumi quote!

Friko said...

Tom, I agree with everything you say. Boring, isn't it.
I have been moving around in a similar sort of area recently, also asking questions.
My favourite idea of one of the wisdoms of getting older - ok then, old age - is that we know our minds and don't much care whether our ideas find approval with others, be they young or middle-aged or as old as we are.

Mona McGinnis said...

I'm not convinced that having knowledge of popular culture or being in possession (and knowing how to use it) of the latest technology is an indication of wisdom. And I'm not sure if it's wisdom or common sense but I like to think that when Svetlana (that voice on the navigator) says "turn right" into a body of water I would have the common sense not to do so. And common sense also tells me that tp isn't the only thing to wipe a bum with!

Kathy @ SMART Living 365.com said...

Hi Tom! I love that quote by John Dulles! If we are just "rearranging the chairs on the Titanic" then we have a problem. As you say, if we learn from our mistakes and strive to be better (and not be led by greed or ego) we will at least be wise enough to make better decisions for ourselves and other. If I can continue to that I will be wise enough. ~Kathy

Linda P. said...

A thoughtful post.

Linda Myers said...

What a great post, Tom! I wish I'd had the words to write it myself.

These days, when I get a haircut I have parts of it colored purple and blue. It makes me visible when I' out in the world.

I've learned how to listen well. That helps, too. The younger people usually have things to say, and I'm eager to hear them.

My mother used to say, when someone would ask her what I did for work, "She works with computers." That was as much as she needed or wanted to know. But she was the one who taught me how to cook and sew (neither of which I enjoy). Important things back then, not so much now that I have other resources to get those kinds of things done.

I could learn the newest technology if I were sufficiently interested. But I have different ways to spend my time.

It's all good!

Jennifer (UnfoldAndBegin) said...

I try to stay on top of technology because I worked in tech support for so long. But I'm having a hard time staying on top of all the apps that are available now. But those rappers on stage during the Superbowl aren't that much younger than me. Dr. Dre is 57 years old.

Rebecca Olkowski said...

I keep up with technology and fashion pretty well. There are other things I don't do as well as my millennial daughter, though. Most have to do with money. Oh well!

Wisewebwoman said...

I keep reasonably up to day with technology and show others of my age - often much younger - the ropes.

Great post Tom, much to think about in it.

XO
WWW

Barbara said...

Well put.

Kay said...

If only I could remember all my mistakes so I don't make them again.