"In this sticky web that we're all in, behaving decently is no small task." -- Novelist Stacey D'Erasmo

Wednesday, January 16, 2019

With Compliments to Marie Kondo ...

     The Netflix show "Tidying Up with Marie Kondo" has become a phenomenon. B's been binge watching it. I know others have, too.

     Kondo has been around for a while. Her book The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up came out in 2014 and climbed the bestseller lists. She followed that book with Spark Joy, which tells us, according to the New York Times, that "you can own as much or as little as you like, as long as every possession brings you true joy."

     Honestly, I have not read her books, nor have I seen her show. I don't have to. B and I have lived decluttering, first when we each sold our houses in 2007 and merged our furniture, clothes, memorabilia and other possessions into one house. Then we did it again in 2016-17 when we sold our big house, and moved to a smaller house in Pennsylvania.

     Still, maybe those of you who have read or seen Marie Kondo can give me a few of her tips. I can always use more -- for one thing I've realized is that decluttering is not a one-time event, it's an ongoing process.

     It's not rocket science. We're retired now. The kids are gone. We no longer need all that stuff filling up the basement and spilling out of our closets. Yet it can be a big job. I read one rule of thumb that says to budget one eight-hour day of decluttering for each year you've lived in your house. But unless you want a bad back and sore knees, you probably shouldn't try to do it all at once.

     Anyway, here are some steps I've taken to declutter ... with a nod to Marie Kondo for making cleaning up cool.

1. Warn your children. Invite them to range through your house and take what they want. Then insist that they remove any and all of their own materials – the boxes of old school items, the stuffed animals, trophies from soccer tournaments, souvenirs from spring break in Florida.

          2. Have a heart-to-heart with your spouse. Most relationships, it seems, consist of one hoarder and one simplifier. To avoid working at cross purposes, we need to sit down and talk things out -- so one person isn't throwing something away while the other is retrieving things out of the trash. The hoarder has to realize that many things -- VHS tapes, a record player, old sports equipment -- are outdated or can be easily replaced. The simplifier has to admit that some things have sentimental value and can't be replaced. So let's not be like the dysfunctional politicians. We have to realize that there can be emotional issues involved in the process ... and be ready to compromise.

3. Sort one space at a time. It’s easy to get bogged down if you do a little of this, and a little of that. So start small. Clean out a closet. Then a bathroom. Then one of the kid’s bedrooms. The hardest jobs will be your own bedroom, the basement, and the kitchen – unless you’re moving into an assisted living facility where all your meals are provided, in which case the kitchen clean-up should be easy . . . all of it goes!

            4. Touch something once, make a decision. As you go through your old clothes, old books, or old furniture, decide whether you need to keep it, or need to get rid of it. But the key to making progress is to make the decision. If you need one suit, then decide which one to keep and get rid of the others. Try not to hem and haw, change your mind, or postpone the decision – or that one day per year could turn out to be two or three days per year. Or, the decluttering may never get done.
  
5. Make five piles. Keep. Sell. Gift. Recycle. Trash. Decide what you want to keep and put that in one pile. The rest goes into one of the other four piles. But try to decide right away – you can give it to someone; you can sell it, recycle it or throw it away. But don’t waste too much time deciding – just choose a pile. If you make a “mistake” and throw away something that maybe you could sell or give to Goodwill – be realistic, you probably wouldn’t have sold it for much money anyway, and Goodwill wouldn't have either.
           
            6. Take pictures. The hardest decision are the emotional ones. But if you can’t bear to get rid of something you need to get rid of, then take a picture. The special dress? Put it on, take a picture, then give it away. The old license plates, the shelf of trophies, the wonderful old oriental rug that will never fit into your new place – take a picture and keep it with you always.  Then make sure to send copies of those photos to your kids.

            7. Books. Marie Kondo has caught some flak for suggesting we keep no more than 30 books in our homes. My own opinion is that books are like albums and CDs, or tapes and DVDs. Keep them around, if they bring you "joy." But it's not the books themselves that are important. It's what's inside -- the information, the characters, the stories. And those are all readily available from the library or the internet.

            8. Hire a professional. For most people, decluttering is a do-it-yourself project – and they would have it no other way – perhaps with some help from kids or a best friend. But sometimes the job might just be too big; or you’re too overwhelmed by the prospect. There are professionals who will help you, for a fee, ranging from $35 to $100 a hour. If you don't have a personal referral, try contacting the National Association of Senior Move Managers for a list of local professionals.

13 comments:

Linda Myers said...

We hired a professional. I am the simplifier and my husband is the other one. We worked for two months on our Washington place before we left for our Arizona winter. My car is spending the winter on one side of the garage, making room for our tenant's vehicle on the other side. And the canvas shed in the back yard has been emptied to make room for my husband's truck to spend the winter.

Our professional, Penni, worked a miracle.

gigihawaii said...

My house is uncluttered, because I am by nature a tidy person.

Wisewebwoman said...

I have downsized but my boxes and trunks (mini) of photos are a total and complete challenge.

I have taken the best of Marie and have simplified my closets and drawers to almost a zen state. I realized after years I positively hate skirts and dresses so dumped the lot of them. Also anything with a heel.

It takes a while but is so worth it.

XO
WWW

Tom said...

We downsized twice, and are in pretty good shape. But we're getting ready to go south for a while. How do I downsize all the stuff we want to take with us so it'll fit in the car? Maybe that's a topic for another post.

Randi said...

I disagree -- I think one thing she has right that most have wrong is, don't clean up a space at a time. Instead, clean up a class or group of items. Most of us don't have all our clothes in one closet. It's a couple of closets, a dresser (or two!), and the garage. Do ALL the clothes together! Otherwise, the pile just migrates around the house.

I've been doing it this way my whole life. My husband thought I was crazy, until I put all his clothes in one single pile. He thought he had very few clothes. After all, his side of the closet was so empty! He had clothes in the garage, in boxes under the house, in the office closet. I had all my clothes in the bedroom closet. Guese whose pile was bigger?

Rian said...

I've never read that book, but I have watched "Hoarders" on TV. THAT show really gets you to clean up! My house is fairly neat, no clutter, lots of pictures and books around, but on the proper shelves, etc. But I do admit to having a hard time throwing stuff out. We do have a room that seems to be the 'collect all' spot. I clean it out maybe once a year... but it still collects things we don't know what to do with. We've been in this house for 34 years, so if and when we ever downsize, it will be a chore.

David @ iretiredyoung said...

You made items 1 and, especially item 2, sound much easier than they really are😂

Marcial said...

Add #9- be prepared for a really long line at your local Goodwill. Worse yet, some Goodwills do not accept some "donations".

tahoegirl.blog said...

Decluttering and tidying is an ongoing process for sure. I've been at it minimizing for around 8 years. Things I couldn't get rid of 5 years ago, I can now. We change our relationship with things over time so it's always good to re visit areas in our houses or try different approaches. One thing that has really helped me and I offer it as a seasoned declutterer is to take pictures of areas in your house and really look at them objectively. You'll be surprised when you see the bookcase with 15 framed photos and then go Why???

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Olga said...

I read her book and took some of her suggestions, but I am not a person who hangs onto stuff. I simply cannot function in clutter.

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