I recently read a couple of articles about the best places to retire. For example, U. S. News rates the best cities for retirement. (Hint: most of the top ones are in Florida or, believe it or not, Pennsylvania). Wallethub focuses on the best states for retirement. (Virginia is Number 1, Florida 2, Pennsylvania 14.)
These lists are typically based on statistics about climate, income, life expectancy, access to health care. But all these are theoreticals. I wonder what people really care about when they decide where they're going to live after they retire.
We had neighbors who didn't know where they wanted to retire. So they sold their house, rented an RV and spent a year traveling around the country, searching for their retirement haven. They ended up in Raleigh, NC. Why? I don't know. But for them it was the place to be.
We have friends from New York who retired to Charleston, SC. They told us they had always expected to move to Florida, "because that's where New Yorkers go." But they never found a place in Florida where they truly felt comfortable. Then they stopped off to see a friend in Charleston, SC. "We fell in love with the city immediately," they said. Two days later they agreed to buy a townhouse. And now, seven years later, they've built a life there . . . and their daughter has moved to Charleston as well.
Then there's my sister-in-law who lives in Seattle. She and her husband are retiring later this year, and they're talking about moving to Costa Rica. They took a tour last fall, specifically designed for Americans who are thinking about retiring in Costa Rica. We'll see if they actually go through with it.
I have two sisters. One moved to Florida in her 30s. And she's still there. The other worked all around the country. Her last job was in Phoenix, and so after she retired that's where she stayed.
What's your story? Where did you move when you retired? And what led you to go there? Or, if you never moved at all, why not?
My wife and I moved from New York to Pennsylvania. We were both born and raised in the Northeast and realized we would never be comfortable living anywhere else. Florida? The Carolinas? The West Coast? Great places to visit. But not to live. At least for us.
We might have moved to be near our children. But we have four children between us, and they are spread out all over the country. So that wasn't in the cards.
Still, we wanted someplace less expensive than our pricey New York suburb. We considered Cape Cod. Too cold and dreary for nine months of the year. We visited Delaware . . . kind of blah.
We looked at half a dozen towns in New Jersey, including Cape May. But we found out it would be less expensive if we moved across the state line into Pennsylvania. So that's what we did.
B does have some family in Pennsylvania and nearby New Jersey. That was a draw. And now, we've made plenty of new friends . . . a few of them fellow retirees from New York and New Jersey.
That's our real-life retirement story. What's yours?
20 comments:
I am 77 years old. 7 of those years I was a nomad, living in California, Thailand, Europe, and New York. I loved being in all those places. However, I came back to Hawaii, because I have a large extended family here. So, I have lived in Hawaii for 70 years and don't regret it. Family is very important to me.
Although I no longer work, I'm not retired in the traditional sense with two kids still in school. But for me, I have no desire to move elsewhere. I want to stay where my family network is. By family, I'm not referring to my children who very well may move, but to all the friends and acquaintances I have met over the years. At least out here in rural America, we know everyone around us and are on a first name basis. All any of my neighbors have to do is ask and I will be right over helping them with whatever needs done. Sometimes I do it before being asked. It is just what we do out here in rural America because it is sometimes necessary when we lack other things like first rate healthcare, high incomes, etc. Right now, I am minding my neighbor's house because they are still down in Florida for the winter. When our kids are out of the nest and we do some extensive traveling, I know I have a network of people who will return the favor.
I can't imagine leaving this network behind and trying to start it again, especially in urban environments which, at least from my point of view, don't seem to be as easy to build up a network of friends within.
Retired from DC to Charleston/ Summerville, SC. Why? Children and grandchildren. Wife also grew up in SC. I started my university academic career at Clemson University.
We looked at Florida. The OBX. St Simons Island, GA. Even Amelia Island, Florida.
2 of Four children in Charleston said, “Dad, you’re coming to Charleston.”
Friends ask us regularly if we are in Charleston to babysit our grandchildren. We reply, “ our grandchildren have their own cars.”
Anyhow. We love it here.
Such an interesting question. We have friends (2 different couples) that moved closer to their kids when they retired. It did not work out great for either of them, and both couples moved back eventually. We are staying put. We have lots of extended family in the area. Three of our four kids and our grandkids live here as well. I would have a hard time leaving our friends and family. Besides, we live in a beautiful area. However, our winters are too long, gray and cold. Snowbirding anyone?
I had not planned on retiring but after getting laid off during Covid, could not get hired at my age (in my field). Could hardly get an interview. My husband just passed away suddenly. I am staying put in Seattle, a place I have lived for 30+ years and my kids, and grandkids are here. A little rainy, but my sister lives in AZ, so I can go visit her!
I stayed right in Central NY. After my husband passed, being close to family was important to me. Also, believe it or not I pay no state tax! My NY state pension is tax exempt. I live in a condo; in NY, condos have a special tax break, thereby effectively cutting my property tax by 50%. Only part of my social security is taxed by NY, but after all the above mentioned tax breaks, I essentially end up with paying no NY state tax.
That said, I hate the winter, but love to travel. So when I need to escape the snow and cold, I can travel to a warmer place. Now that I am alone, it would be hard to move to another state and start all over, trying to make new friends and connections.
Carole
When I retired I sold my house and put most of my stuff in storage and began visiting. I lived in Seattle, born there. Most of my friends had already left for other places. One son was there and one in Walla Walla having married a girl from there. My sisters are all in or around Portland as well as my father. After three months of visiting and checking things out I bought a smaller house in Walla Walla outright with my Seattle house money. Soon after my eldest son moved here also. It was 300 miles to visit my Dad but that was a time when it was easy-peasy for me. I started a new career with a social services organization, trying to make a difference instead of making airplane parts. I retired a second time from there.
When I moved here the cost of living was much less than Seattle. It's still less expensive but that's changing. You would have a hard time finding a house to buy. There isn't enough housing. It snows more here than Seattle but the terrain is mostly flat in town so it's not really a problem. It's gotten kind of touristy trading off the Walla Walla onion fame for wine. Now I have b=nine grandkids here and a great-grandchild. A fifteen minute drive gets me out in the country with beautiful views of the Blue Mountains. I'm very happy I made the choice I did.
I stayed in Alberta where I had lived for 28 years. There were lots of after retirement opportunities for volunteering in things I liked. I had many friends and acquaintances. If I ever got cold in the winter it was only a few hours to warmer places. I've never regretted staying where I am.
One thing I've realized in my travels and retirement research: no matter where we end up -- north, south, east or west -- there are always plenty of other retired people to do things with, to share our lives with. I guess there are just a lot of us!
I stayed in my city because all of my children and five of my grandchildren are all here. Many of us don't drive cars so long distance visiting would be out of the question and I'd never see any of them if I moved away. I also have doctor, dentist and good shopping all within walking distance.
Born in Ohio, lived in Ohio, retired in Ohio. We have great springs and falls, winters aren't horrible and summer doesn't get too hot. Our friends, family and community is here. I finally get to live in the home I created instead of visiting it at night to sleep.
We did it all wrong, but it was also all right. We moved across province to a more wintry place where the cost of living is greater. But we live near our daughter, and we have been close with our grandkids. These things matter.
After retirement (12 years ago) we moved from suburban Atlanta to New England to live near our only son. First lived in coastal New Hampshire for several years and now in southeastern Massachusetts to be 5 minutes from our son and daughter-in-law. Our move was the best decision we've ever made. We've made many, many new friends and are quite involved in activities. We always disliked the hot, humid weather growing up in the deep south and we really enjoy having four distinct seasons. But most of all we love being part of the daily lives of our son and his wife.
I'm jealous of all of you who get to live near your children and grandchildren! I tried to get my daughter to move near us, but alas, she got a job in Wisconsin. So we go to Wisconsin, when we can.
"I finally get to live in the home I created instead of visit it at night to sleep." Thank you, Miss Merry, for putting my sentiment into words. Grew up in rural Alberta, worked in rural Alberta, retired in rural Alberta. It gets harder to maintain this rural property as I age but I reckon I have 10 good years left in me. I think about where I'll end up all the time; I foresee a relocation in my future. Proximity (in terms of time vs space) to family & friends awa activities I enjoy is pivotal in the decision making. I'll see what the next 10 yrs brings.
My husband and I are odd ducks.
Military, we had ten different locations before we got out. We “retired” first to Flagstaff, close to my family. Unfortunately, my family was not fun for us to be around. I realized why I left home at 18…How it looked in our heads was so different. We got our kids out of school and moved to one of our favorite military places, Kansas. Good jobs, good people, good fishing. Seven years later our daughter begged us to move East- complicated pregnancies and long work hours meant “help wanted”. We moved to Delaware.
Seven years, the mid Atlantic response to the pandemic ( and how they “handle” their poor) had us packing up.
We moved to hubby’s home state. Burrrr, Idaho is the best place we have lived. Camper camping, fishing, boating, hiking…clean air and sunny skies. I can “do” the winters- cause the rest of the year it is fabulous!
Time is ticking though. We’ll move when hubby turns 80. We watched our parents, and we need our kids. I have no clue where they will be. One is retiring military, the other swears they will forever be in Maryland. I don’t care, as long as I have them. I’m sure my bi annual treks to wherever will continue until I can no longer carry my bag…
Obviously we are always open to adventure! No moss under our feet!
My wife and I never really had the desire to move somewhere else once I retired. We stayed put in Oklahoma City near our kids and grandkids and our close friends. We are both native Texans but have been in Oklahoma for 30 years now and are about 3 hours from our siblings and their families. We will travel to different places, but I think we will stay right where we are for our permanent residence.
We stayed in our family home in a suburb north of Seattle; three years ago we remodeled the daylight basement into a great little apartment with no stairs. We live there six months of the year. We bought a park model (trailer) in a retirement community in Tucson and that's where we spend the winter. My husband grew up in Seattle, and most of our kids live there. But the community in Tucson is wonderful. I said the other day that I wish we could take our Arizona friends home with us for the summer.
Tom, I’m usually a lurker but I must say that your blogs are very interesting to read and ponder. Why do we live where we live? Well, in 1980 my husband and I made the decision that we would move from an island off the east coast in Maine ❤️ to Pennsylvania for 2 main reasons. 1) we wanted our 2 children to be able to get a better education than the island school could offer. And, we wanted them to be exposed to a broader spectrum of all things that would allow them to make choices for their future. My son was 8 and my daughter was 5. It was not an easy transition. We knew no one. We both had left our families behind. And 2) was we felt we had moved around enough and just wanted to settle, buy a house and give our children stability. Neither of us had jobs waiting for us in Pennsylvania but we were optimistic and young.
So, now we don’t regret the upheaval it caused, the stress of moving ourselves, 2 cats and 2 dogs. Finding schools, jobs, a rent, etc. because I feel (my husband died and I have remarried) it was the best decision in so many ways. I love where we finally settled in Pennsylvania. Our children and grandchildren are here, our church, friends, social groups and I can’t imagine a better place to grow old in. ❤️
Carole, NY does NOT tax so social security
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