I retired pretty early in life, with a package from my company and only a vague plan of what I would do next. I wasn't ready to move to Florida to play golf or go fishing. I felt as if I still had something to contribute. I would even have taken another job, if one had fallen into my lap, but as you and I know, things don't usually just fall into your lap.
So I never got another full-time job. I did, however, put a lot of effort into finding consulting jobs, freelance work, temporary assignments. There was always something different to look forward to, someone new to meet.
I went on to establish a relationship with a woman who is now my wife. And we downsized and retired to Pennsylvania. We made new friends, developed new activities. We always had something coming up, something to do next.
Now with Social Security and Medicare and an IRA, I've retired more thoroughly. We've settled down into our new life, a new routine. To be honest, our life has gotten pretty quiet. We don't go to work. We don't do a lot of traveling, and fortunately, we got home from our winter trip before the epidemic hit, so we don't have to cut short or cancel a vacation. So why should self-isolation pose a problem?
 |
| Everything's the same |
Even now, with my quieter life, I'd usually be going over to the senior center to play table tennis every Monday, and sometimes on Wednesdays. Whenever I'm sitting around, bored on a Sunday afternoon, I think, yeah, but tomorrow I've got ping pong.
Right about now I'd also be looking forward to starting golf season. My golf league was supposed to play its opening round next Wednesday. Instead, play has been suspended indefinitely. So there's no golf on the horizon.
B and I are supposed to be hosting two classes at our retirement learning center: Great Decisions in Foreign Policy on Tuesdays, and the Socrates Cafe on Thursdays. But we only had one Socrates session and two Great Decisions classes before everything was canceled. So now we're home on Tuesday and Thursday -- and we can't tell the difference between the two.
It's not that are days our unpleasant. It's that every day is the same. We have nothing to look forward to.
Now I know we have it pretty good, all things considered. We live in a nice home. We can go outside for a walk. We have Netflix and Amazon prime. (We're watching Babylon Berlin, a sometimes-confusing but always intriguing drama set in pre-war Berlin.) But I don't always know what day it is. Weekends are the same as weekdays. There's nothing to go out for. Nothing to dress up for. Nobody to talk to. Nobody to joke around with. We can't even break up the monotony by going out to dinner.
We did set up a Zoom birthday party for a relative last weekend. We thought that was very clever. But it didn't measure up to a real party.
We've Face-timed with children and grandchildren. It's better than just hearing a voice on the phone. But we want to see them live and in person!
We did have two things to look forward to: a weekend trip to our old hometown and a meet-up with my son to see the U. S. Open in June. But both have been canceled. And we haven't even started to make other vacation plans, because nobody is ready to make reservations. See what I mean? Nothing to look forward to.
It's not that things are so bad. And we so appreciate the front-line workers who are literally risking their lives to keep the country running. Food and gasoline are getting through. We can buy stuff online. Police and fire are still on duty. And of course the medical world is performing heroics in helping victims, treating people, trying to reassure the rest of us.
All the experts tell us to make a plan for retirement, to update our plans, to reassess our lives and make sure we don't drift off. We're supposed to stay on track and adjust when necessary.
But Coronavirus wasn't in the plan. I have two friends who winter in Florida and usually come back north in March. For them, self-isolation means that they are stuck there for foreseeable future.
Our neighbor had their daughter and her three kids move in with them for the duration. The daughter's husband is a physicians assistant working in a hospital in New Jersey. He doesn't want to come home at night and possibly expose his family to the virus, so he sent them to her parents' house. I admire his dedication, and his responsible approach as well. But now there are six people jammed into a townhouse that is set up for two retirees.
Well, I can guess what my Florida friends are looking forward to . . . getting back home. And I know for sure what our neighbors, no matter how much they love their grands, are looking forward to . . . the day when the kids leave!
24 comments:
Not knowing the day of the week, or even the date, is irksome. Even though weekends were not that big a deal after retirement, there were certain things than happen on Saturday or Sunday that we looked forward to. Now, Saturday is Monday or Wednesday. I get confused.
Strangely, one of the things i miss the most is being able to go to the library. Our Friends board meetings are kaput for now. So, is the ability to read about an interesting book in the New York Times Book Review and go pick it up. Amazon will sell it to me but I am exhibiting remarkable stamina in resisting that approach for now.
I too cannot tell the difference between one day and the next. But now I am taking yoga in Zoom classes. So I look forward to Tuesdays and Fridays for them. Otherwise, it's just a weird time as a retired senior. All my daily activities are gone. :-(
I considered myself a true homebody and sitll do, even though I have outside social activities. I don't miss the lunches and happy hours so much. But I DO miss going to church, my normal out of the house volunteering, hitting the rec center on certain days of the week. I am slowy making those adjustments and will really reconsider the few "large group" things I do as we move to something more normal. But yes, may of my day are the same.....
I am still teaching my third grade students through online learning. It is kind of sad really, so many things are left undone and unsaid ~ particularly since I am retiring June 1st. M. Is still going to work each day, so we at least have a little more contact with others and something to talk about once he gets home. Even still the days are long and I was worried I had made a poor choice if this is what retirement might be like, but I have faith things will get better.
It's funny your saying that every day is the same, Tom - because I was just telling DH that it's like that ground hog day movie where the same day keeps repeating itself. I have a plan... and list what I want to get done each day, but basically (except for a few specifics) the list is the same (blog, journal, sculpt, quilt, exercise, walk, cook, etc). There's the day we have to pickup Curb side groceries - which is now considered a fun outing. There's the day I get to Skype with a grandchild or friend, etc. Nothing exciting, but something to look forward to. Life has changed... and we're definitely appreciating the simple things.
All of our children and their spouses are still working in 'essential' businesses - three in hospitals. So yes, we worry. DH is undergoing radiation during this Pandemic, so yes, we worry. Both of us are in our 70's, etc. But we follow the guide lines given and keep in communication with family and friends - so life goes on - in this 'new normal'.
I may not know what day it is but I have been a little surprised at how fast each day passes now. Not that I have scads to keep my busy but I do have so much more phone time these days with family and friends checking in. My callers know how to kill an hour each. I manage blogging and one decent chore in between the calls when low and behold it is meal time again. Not complaining but a bit surprised. Getting through this mess quickly is a blessing.
I think you nailed it. I'm an introvert but I still went to the gym T TH and Sunday. I shopped on a specific day too. It's that there is nothing to look forward too almost. We've canceled our camping trips and we were planning an overnight that we canceled too. We have 2 more camping trips for summer but I know we will cancel because it's too risky to use the campground bathrooms. sigh.... .
Very timely column & captures many of our lives at this time. One day just seems to roll into another without a distinguishing feature. Even in retirement, it's often nice to have a schedule/routine that involves either regular volunteering or just social outings.
Why do I have the sense that things are going to be different for quite awhile. Unless there is a viable vaccine, many of us will be reluctant to take those vacations, go to those busy commercial places etc. But in the blessings column, we as a country are fortunate to have so many health care providers that are doing their jobs heroically. They certainly don't wake up in the morning wondering "what am I going to do with my time today." Lucky for us.......
Rian -- Hah, you are so right! We should all watch Groundhog Day, that great 1993 Bill Murray movie.
I hear you, Tom. My husband is wearing the floor out between the computer, the TV, and his walking route. He is tremendously social and misses his friends SO MUCH! I, on he other hand, have more than enough to do. Since we no longer go out for lunches and our weekly dinner out, I find myself cooking three meals a day. I also do the laundry, the cleaning (no cleaning help anymore), and tend to my small garden. I'm also blogging, and talking to family and friends on the phone and Facetime. So being bored is not an option. And yes, every day is the same. Maybe I'm just a boring person, but must admit I rather like this sameness. I do worry about people who are at risk, and especially the health workers. And I also worry about where it will all end. Meanwhile, let's count our blessings, as you did in this blog. Stay safe!
I think my husband has repaired everything that needs repairing.Even though we have at home hobbies we enjoy we are both missing the mental and social stimulation of the few “outside” activities we can’t go to.I have a weekly art group and card games every other week, a lunch date every week, and trips to Tuesday Morning for craft items, and I love my weeklyTrader Joe jaunt! Ken had a discussion group he was enjoying immensely and it’s kaput.He is doing zoom calls with a couple of the guys he met at the group who want to keep chatting about interesting topics but it is not the same. Like you, we are blessed, a nice home, can go on bike rides..and hey,we can always sit around and plan where we are going to go with the airline credit we now have from all our 2020 travels being cancelled. (NOT ready to think about travel!!!!!!!!!!) It’s getting a bit harder.. I wonder how and when we may have any semblance of normal again? We also miss NATURE: getting out on our favorite hiking trails!!!!!
I think my husband has repaired everything that needs repairing.Even though we have at home hobbies we enjoy we are both missing the mental and social stimulation of the few “outside” activities we can’t go to.I have a weekly art group and card games every other week, a lunch date every week, and trips to Tuesday Morning for craft items, and I love my weeklyTrader Joe jaunt! Ken had a discussion group he was enjoying immensely and it’s kaput.He is doing zoom calls with a couple of the guys he met at the group who want to keep chatting about interesting topics but it is not the same. Like you, we are blessed, a nice home, can go on bike rides..and hey,we can always sit around and plan where we are going to go with the airline credit we now have from all our 2020 travels being cancelled. (NOT ready to think about travel!!!!!!!!!!) It’s getting a bit harder.. I wonder how and when we may have any semblance of normal again? We also miss NATURE: getting out on our favorite hiking trails!!!!!
Yes, every day is just today. I miss my grandkids and the library. Surprisingly, I was out most days doing nothing of great moment but it was everyday. Cancelled what was supposed to be a trip with two grandkids to visit my sisters. Did figure out how to zoom with one of those sisters. She learned zoom cuz she's a 2nd grad teacher and her district is doing online classes with it. One son still working as QC at a food processing plant. Grandgirl working at Albertson's behind a plastic shield after her cooking school postponed classes. Worry Worry.
An odd thing with me, I load up my two pill-cases every Saturday, which takes quite a while and it strikes me as completely weird that these Saturdays roll around far too quickly. I expect time to drag and it goes flying by.
I am looking forward to nothing as well, I usually had one thing ahead of me like my niece's recital which is now cancelled for April. And a weekend away in a large house with some great friends. Not happening.
Life will truly never be the same again.
XO
WWW
Being "stuck" in Florida is not so bad although I do miss family and friends back north. Thee do seem to be people leaving my neighborhood everyday but I have made not plans to travel yet.
"Is retirement so very different from self-isolating?", your post seems to answer your own question in that, yes, it is different. If it wasn't, then you wouldn't be missing the things that you would normally do in your normal retired life.
I also suspect that many of the challenges or frustrations that you mention are common to others too, whether they are part of the working population now working from home or school kids also isolating at home.
Personally, I feel that the routines and structures that I've developed in my early retirement life have been a help in our current stay at home state. That's not to say that I'm not itching to get back to normal asap though.
HAPPY EASTER, TOM!!!
I am fortunate to be able to still work with slightly reduced hours which is a bit of a blessing. The rest of my time hasn't changed much as I am a homebody for the most part. I have started to work on my guitar playing a bit more and I usually get out for a daily walk depending on weather, but I also do a couple of shifts of volunteer work at one of the local grocery stores. It is just curbside pickup and delivery now, so they need help filling orders. It feels good to be useful which is something I seem to need.
Hi Tom! Interesting question. I for one need something to look forward to so although we had to cancel our plans for Spain/Portugal in May, the airlines would only give my nonrefundable tickets a chance to rebook before November. So I was able to switch them to late September/October. So that is the "plan" now. And because it was going to be a long trip I've had to cancel all the Airbnb rentals we had along the way (all but one was refundable) and in the one case rebook. So that's kept me pretty busy. Like some of your other commenters, I also feel like my days are pretty full. I've read four novels so far which a real treat and have a couple more loaded on my kindle for when I get to them. Like others I cooking quite a bit more every day, and while I'm not much of a 'cleaner" I've actually tackled a few chores that were long overdo. Oh, and walking, without my daily walks, I would be CRAZY! The weather has also been nice enough for bike riding as well. So Im staying busy. But like you and most people, I am wondering what comes next? Where do we as a people, as a country, go from here? Nothing is clear but I'm pretty sure things won't go back to "normal" anytime soon. ~Kathy
You nailed it! My world feels very small. There are things to do, but the classes I'd signed up for got canceled two weeks in, and I miss them! My husband and I take a long walk almost every day, but we can't have people to dinner. My book group is meeting by Zoom, but it's not the same..... Etc. I feel bad complaining, since I have pension and SS coming in, plus a nice home and great spouse, but as things drags on, it's definitely hard.
you boomers are shutting down the entire economy because you're afraid of a flu. Seriously, can you boomers kill yourselves? You are the most selfish generation to ever exist. You don't give a shit about climate change, why should we young people give a shit if you get sick and die of some virus? I HOPE the virus gets much stronger and kills you all.
Do you boomers realize how universally hated you are? There is not one single demographic that does not hate you- white people, black people, asians, mexicans, indians, chinese, millennials, GenX, GenZ. Something tells me that you boomers are not going to have a very comfortable or easy retirement, especially once you end up in the retirement homes.
Can you baby boomers hurry up and fucking drop dead? Enjoy your retirement homes cause we younger people will not take care of you even if we wanted to, due to the shitty economy you boomers created. Do you boomers realize that the younger generation is simply waiting for you to fucking drop dead?
You are all going to end up in retirement homes and we all know that the elderly gets treated pretty badly in retirement homes. Well, that's what you get for ruining your own children's lives. Even if your children WANTED to take care of you, they couldn't, due to you boomers destroying the economy. So I hope you enjoy the retirement homes, boomer scum!
Wow! You have a very busy retired life. That’s awesome, Tom. I can imagine how not being able to do the things you were doing before would be somewhat boring. I’m hopeful though. Hawaii is doing better... for now. The one lucky thing for us is having a loved one at home with us to share the isolation with. I really feel awful for people who have to be closeted at home alone.
Good articles, Have you heard of LFDS (Le_Meridian Funding Service, Email: lfdsloans@outlook.com --WhatsApp Contact:+1-9893943740--lfdsloans@lemeridianfds.com) is as USA/UK funding service they grant me loan of $95,000.00 to launch my business and I have been paying them annually for two years now and I still have 2 years left although I enjoy working with them because they are genuine Loan lender who can give you any kind of loan.
A GREAT SPELL CASTER (DR. EMU) THAT HELP ME BRING BACK MY EX GIRLFRIEND.
Am so happy to testify about a great spell caster that helped me when all hope was lost for me to unite with my ex-girlfriend that I love so much. I had a girlfriend that love me so much but something terrible happen to our relationship one afternoon when her friend that was always trying to get to me was trying to force me to make love to her just because she was been jealous of her friend that i was dating and on the scene my girlfriend just walk in and she thought we had something special doing together, i tried to explain things to her that her friend always do this whenever she is not with me and i always refuse her but i never told her because i did not want the both of them to be enemies to each other but she never believed me. She broke up with me and I tried times without numbers to make her believe me but she never believed me until one day i heard about the DR. EMU and I emailed him and he replied to me so kindly and helped me get back my lovely relationship that was already gone for two months.
Email him at: Emutemple@gmail.com
Call or Whats-app him: +2347012841542
Post a Comment