What's On Your Mind?

     Are you getting fed up with the Coronavirus pandemic and stay-at-home orders and wearing masks and social distancing? Well, if you are, so are we.

     Yes, a roundup of Baby Boomer blogs starts with the pandemic -- how can it not? -- but then it goes on to the personal, the practical, the political and more.

     The Pandemic -- Carol Cassara realizes that everyone has responded to Covid-19 differently, but the root of their behaviors might not be so obvious. In her post Discovering Hidden Ways the Pandemic Is Impacting Us Cassara reveals some of her own sometimes-mysterious pandemic behaviors -- and what she discovered about where they actually came from.

Responding to pandemic

     The Personal -- For Laurie Stone of Musings, Rants & Scribbles, summer reminds her of Cape Cod. And Cape Cod reminds her of her grandmother Nana. In her essay Summer of Pineapple and Tuna Fish she reflects on a special time she spent with Nana on the Cape a long time ago.

     Another personal note. For the first time since 2004, B and I will not be vacationing on Cape Cod. The woman who owns our usual rental told us that because of Covid-19 her family decided not to rent the house at all this summer. So we are trying to do a different trip . . . more on that in an upcoming post.

     The Practical -- Rebecca Olkowski with BabyBoomster.com comes to the aid of any retiree who might want some extra income, or who is bored staying home with no work to do. She interviewed a business coach with the unlikely name of Winton Churchill who helps Baby Boomers work online and "earn from anywhere" as he puts it. Check out Become a Freelancer for some tips on how to profit from the gig economy, even if you're a retiree. And if you hang on until the very end you can catch the "almost" live stream of the interview itself.

     The Political -- Meryl Baer of Six Decades and Counting says we can't avoid  the political season, the hype is everywhere. She has been bombarded not only by the national ads but by local campaigns as well. In Primarily Voting from My Couch she summarizes a noteworthy local contest -- one that involves a very familiar name.

     The Price -- On The Survive and Thrive Boomer Guide Rita R. Robison reminds us in Price Information About Funeral Costs that funeral homes are required to provide their price lists to consumers. Yet a 2018 investigation by the Federal Trade Commission found failures to disclose timely information in 20% of the funeral homes they visited. So you should know: Some funeral homes post price information on their websites; but whether they do or not, you should be able to get prices over the phone before you make funeral arrangements.

     The Pondering -- Jennifer Kolshak of Unfold and Begin says she has been pondering a lot of things lately. Some of us bloggers might relate to the latest issue she's considering: Do I Really Have a Niche-less Blog?

A real progressive

     The Philosophical. Kathy Gottberg on SmartLiving365 offers something different -- a vlog called Why Rightsizing Is More Important Than Ever. Tune in for the discussion she has with her husband about . . . well, like I said, it's philosophical, so it's about how to live your life.

     The Progressive. Finally, I think of myself as a progressive (with a small p), but not necessarily a part of the current capital-P Progressive political movement. Be that as it may, if you've been affected at all by Black Lives Matter and George Floyd and everything else, I'd recommend watching I Am Not Your Negro, a documentary about James Baldwin that is now available on Amazon Prime.

Social Security FAQs

     The last substantive change to Social Security occurred in 2015. That's when Congress eliminated the file-and-suspend and restricted-application strategies that gave married couples the opportunity to increase their lifetime benefits.

     But still, people often have questions about how the sometimes-complicated retirement system works, and how long it will be able to pay full benefits without some changes to the system. So here are a few Frequently Asked Questions, brought to us by Jeremy Kisner, Director of Financial Planning at Surevest Wealth Management in Phoenix, AZ. For those who are interested, he also writes a financially user-friendly blog called Clear and Concise Financial Advice.

     1. Can I collect benefits even if I continue working?
     Once you reach full retirement age, you can earn as much as you want without affecting your Social Security benefits  However, between age 62 and the year of your full retirement age you can only earn up to a certain threshold ($18,240 as of 2020) before benefits are reduced. For every $2 you earn above the threshold, your benefits are reduced by $1. But remember, only earned income from working counts towards the threshold. And also, if your benefit is withheld, Social Security will make it up to you with a higher monthly benefit after you reach full retirement age.

     2. How much are payments reduced when claiming retirement benefits early?
     They are reduced by approximately 0.555% for each of the 36 months you collect prior to full retirement age, and 0.416% for each month more than 36 months before full retirement age. So if your monthly benefit would be $1000 at full retirement age of 66, you would collect only $750 a month if you claimed benefits at age 62, for a 25% reduction.

     3. Are spousal benefits also reduced by the same amount for claiming early?
     Spousal benefits are actually reduced more. For example, claiming Social Security at age 62 would reduce the worker's benefit by 25%, but a spousal benefit by 30% -- or an average of 0.625% for each month prior to full retirement age.

     4. How much are benefits increased if I delay benefits until age 70?
     You accrue Delayed Retirement Credits which increase your benefits at a rate of 0.667 for every month you wait beyond your full retirement age. That works out to 8% per year simple interest.

     5. If I get married, am I immediately entitled to spousal benefits?
     No. You have to be married for one year before your are entitled to spousal benefits.

     6. What if my spouse dies prior to collecting benefits?
     You have to have been married for nine months to collect survivor benefits, and you have to wait until you are at least 60 years old (unless accidental death). There are also family benefits available to an unmarried child if one of their parents dies while the child in under 18., and spouses are also eligible to collect family benefits prior to age 60 if they are taking care of a child under 16.

     7. What happens to spousal benefits in the case of divorce?
     You can claim benefits on your prior spouse's record if you were married for at least 10 years, and are not currently remarried. It is not uncommon for two or more people to be claiming spousal benefits on one person's work record.

     8. Can I pay back benefits I collected prior to age 70, then get a higher payment as if I'd never collected?
     No. You used to be able to do this, but the option was eliminated in 2010.

     9. Are the ages of eligibility for benefits the same for widows and divorcees?
     Widows or surviving divorced spouses can claim survivor benefits at age 60. Divorcees can qualify for benefits at 62, even if the ex-spouse (age 62 or older) has not yet filed for benefits. You have to have been divorced for at least two years to file for benefits on an ex-spouses's record.

     10. What is now considered full retirement age?
     It depends on when  you were born:
     Year of birth       Full retirement age
     1942 or before          65
     1943 - 1954              66
     1955                         66 and 2 months
     1956                         66 and 4 months
     1957                         66 and 6 months
     1958                         66 and 8 months
     1959                         66 and 10 months
     1960 and after          67

     Bonus Question. Should I factor in the possibility that Social Security will go bankrupt in deciding when to start my benefits?
     Despite some reports to the contrary, Social Security is not in danger of going bankrupt. However, if no changes are made to the system, the trust fund (which has been built up over the years by collecting extra payroll taxes) will be depleted sometime around 2034. That's when benefits will have to be reduced -- by about 25% from their current level. There are ways to fix the system. But that's a topic for another post. Just one thing to keep in mind in this political season: If anyone is proposing a payroll tax holiday, that might put more money in workers' pockets, but it would also further deplete the Social Security system.

     Meanwhile, if you're interested in improving your own financial system, I can recommend Kisner's book A Good Financial Adviser Will Tell You ... from which these questions were drawn. And if you really want to get into the weeds, check out IRS Publication 915 for even more detailed information about Social Security benefits.

What We've Learned

      I'm taking a course this summer through our senior learning center -- via Zoom, naturally -- that focuses on President Kennedy and the Cuban Missile Crisis of October 1962.

     The instructor set the stage by reviewing what was happening in the late 1950s and early 1960s, and how the world was so very different then. Participants in the class were encouraged to offer their own memories of the times -- including a woman who grew up in Boston as an ardent Kennedy supporter and a man who spent several years in the National Guard facing off against war protesters.

     We all acknowledged a few things about those days. For example, despite the general impression that the 1950s were a time of prosperity and conformity, and the 1960s a time of idealism and freedom, people who lived through that era actually had different experiences and held different points of view. Not everybody was a hippie. Not everyone attended a protest march. Not everyone took part in the sexual revolution.

     We also realized that people's memories are colored by later experiences. What we remember may not be how things actually happened. And we were young. We were more idealistic, more hopeful. The world was in front of us.

     So what have we learned in the past 50 years?

     For one thing, we all probably thought that we'd live forever, that we would always be young, that nothing would change. But life can and does move on. All things are temporary. Friends come and go; children grow up; jobs that once held meaning now seem irrelevant.

     We had friends in school who drifted away after we graduated. I remember going through the ritual of becoming "blood brothers" with my best friend in sixth grade. Friends forever. And we were . . . at least through high school. But we went to different colleges, followed different careers. We caught up at our 25th high-school reunion; but we haven't seen each other since.

     We've had friends from work who seemed important to us . . . until we weren't working there anymore. I'm reminded of the line from Fleetwood Mac: "Players only love you when they're playing."

     Now we know. Certain people are important in our lives . . . until they aren't. Maybe today that drives us to redouble our efforts to keep up with old friends. Or, maybe now that we're older, we don't feel as if we need as many friends. We no longer need to be "popular" or "cool" -- do we? Maybe it's enough to be with family, or just one or two best friends. Does life get smaller as we get older?

      We had dreams as kids. Did we go on to live those dreams? Develop new ones? How much did we compromise in order to keep a job, raise a family, or maybe live a life that our parents dreamed for us, rather than the one we dreamed for ourselves?

     We also know about the choices we've made, both the good and the bad. They've affected our careers, our relationships . . . and often our health. I think back to the days when I smoked cigarettes, at first because it was cool, and then because I was addicted. Now my reaction is: How could I have been so stupid?

     I've gotten away with it, so far. But sometimes I wonder if the stupidity of my 20s will end up killing me in my 70s.

     What I do know is that my old ankle injury from a car accident, and the knee injury from playing tennis, are coming back to haunt me. We do not all age at the same rate. Maybe it's our genes, or maybe our lifestyle, but some of us are healthy well into our 80s; while others are limping around in our 60s. But I'd venture to say that most of us have something going on to remind us that the body doesn't last forever.

     We also know that life offers no guarantees. Sometimes, when you least expect it, things can go terribly wrong. One day you're healthy, the next you're in the hospital. One day your friend, or your spouse, is alive. Then they're gone.

     Perhaps, by now, we've been cured of our addiction to ambition. Does it really matter so much that we did or didn't get that promotion, that our kids did or didn't get accepted to their first-choice college, that we maybe should have jumped at that opportunity to start our own business, or live overseas, or have another child? We know that life is not a race, it's a journey. We've moved past the disappointments. There will be good times, and bad times, and "this too shall pass."

     We also know -- as revealed in our memories of the '60s -- that people live under different circumstances and experience events in various ways. Perhaps we become more tolerant as we age, more understanding of those who have different points of view. We can "agree to disagree" with friends or family members, and maybe understand why they've chosen an unusual lifestyle, or hold onto ideals that don't make sense to us.

     Finally, I hope we can appreciate what poet Robert Frost wrote: "But I have promises to keep / and miles to go before I sleep." No matter what our age, we can make new friends, try new things, contribute to society, find meaning in family, and seek out joy in unexpected places.

Scare in the Night

     I heard about this incident when I was in Florida in January. It happened to someone I've known for years. I don't see them much anymore, but we still keep in touch.

     They have a 30-year-old son who still lives at home. He had some learning disabilities growing up, but nevertheless managed to graduate from high school. He went to community college, took some photography courses, culinary courses, health classes. Meanwhile he worked on and off, mostly at restaurants.

     Last year he started to exhibit some mental-health issues. At one point, he got into an argument with some other young men -- nothing physical, just verbal -- and he decided that these guys were coming after him for revenge. Whenever a car came down the street he would peer out the windows, wondering if someone was casing out the house.

     At first his parents were wary, on the lookout. But nothing happened. There was nobody. So the parents tried to downplay the whole thing. But the son couldn't let it go and seemed to be getting more paranoid as time went on. He stayed at home more and more, afraid to go out, because he thought people were following him.

     His parents arranged for him to get some therapy. He was prescribed some medications. He took them most of the time, but complained they made him sleepy and lethargic, so he occasionally skipped his doses.

     Then one day, he woke up in the middle of the night. He thought he heard noises somewhere in the kitchen or living room. He convinced himself that someone had broken into the house. He panicked. He thought intruders had come to attack his family; but he was too afraid to go out of his room. Then he decided they were after him, going to kill him. So he decided to do it first.

     He had some kind of knife in his room, and he started to cut himself on his arms. He bloodied himself but didn't do any major damage. Then he stopped. He smoked a cigarette in an attempt to calm himself down.

     Next thing he knew, his mattress was smoking. Apparently, he had dropped his lit cigarette on the bed. And now it was on fire.

     His dad woke up -- maybe from the noise his son was making, maybe from smelling the smoke. He got out of bed, quickly checked around the house. It was dark and empty. There were no intruders. Then he saw the smoke coming out of his son's room.

     The dad got his son out, along with the rest of the family. He called 911. The fire department showed up in a few minutes. The fire was mostly contained in the son's bedroom, but between the fire damage, the smoke damage and the water damage, the house was a complete mess.

     The family suffered some smoke inhalation, and some emotional trauma. But no one was burned; everyone's okay. But they had to find someplace else to stay for the time being, and wait for the insurance company to assess the damage and then begin the long process of repairing the house.

     The son was sent to a mental-health facility where he spent a few weeks undergoing more intensive therapy. He understood what he had done, and was remorseful, but also knew that he couldn't always control himself.

     Now he's back out, living not with his family but in an apartment in a home. He is still under the care of a psychologist, with more careful monitoring. The family is in the process of putting their lives back together, which has only been delayed by the Covid-19 epidemic. But the prognosis is good, for both the young man and the larger family.

     Fortunately, there was no gun in the house. What do you suppose might have happened if there was?

When Can We Reopen?

     My wife B is going more crazy than I am during the Coronavirus pandemic. She has less tolerance for staying home and doing, essentially, nothing.

     So B, who is more of a bleeding heart liberal than I am, is arguing in favor of reopening the economy. She says people should be able to go to the store if they wear masks, meet up with friends if they keep a six foot distance, attend concerts if they're held outdoors. She of course is worried about the virus. But she is also worried about the people who are losing their jobs or losing their businesses, who can't pay their rent and who may soon be out on the streets.

     It's easy for us to stay at home, she says, because we still get our Social Security, our pension checks and annuities. But what about Manuel? He works for our landscaping company. He was "furloughed" back in March. The company sent out an email to customers inviting them to send a donation to Manuel -- but it doesn't sound like the landscaping company is paying him, or if it is, it's a fraction of his usual salary. We sent in $50; but no matter how many customers joined us, it's not going to last very long. Manuel has a wife and a child. How long before they have to give up their car? How long before they get evicted from their apartment?

     Or what about the restaurants in town that employ waiters and cooks and dishwashers? These people are now on unemployment, with an extra boost from the federal government, but all that's going to end before long. And what about the people who own and run the restaurants and small shops? These shops often represent lots of dreams and years of hard work, and now a lot of that is going down the drain because the only thing they are allowed to provide is curbside pickup -- and business is down by 50% to 80%.

     The reopen vs. stay-closed debate has been framed as a political argument. Republicans want to reopen . . . because they are greedy. Democrats want to stay closed . . . because they like the government to tell them what to do.

     For example, in Why Are Liberals More Afraid of the Coronavirus Than Conservatives? Ezra Klein analyzes some of the psychological differences between liberals and conservatives. He points out, quite correctly I think, that conservatives tend to be more skeptical of change and less welcoming to outsiders, while liberals are more comfortable with novelty, disruption and diversity. But by that reasoning conservatives should be more fearful of the Coronavirus than liberals. The author twists himself in knots trying to provide an explanation, but it doesn't make sense -- because the difference is due more to an individual's personal experience. Not everything is political.

     I myself think we should continue to self-isolate . . . not because I'm liberal or conservative but because I'm a bit of a hypochondriac. B, who is more liberal than I am, wants to go out . . . because she's antsy and doesn't think it can happen to her.

     It's not just us. Look at Sweden. If Sweden is as socialistic as it's supposed to be, why is it one of the few countries that didn't issue stay-at-home orders at all?

     No, I think the question of reopening is more a function of personality, and personal circumstances. Some people simply have to stay busy. It drives them crazy to sit around at home all day. They can't do it! They have to get in the car, go to a store, meet up with a friend. Others can sit at home, read a book, watch TV, they are comfortable with their own company.

     Also, B has never been sick a day in her life. She has no conception -- and thus very little fear -- of what's it's like to feel so horrible that you can't get out of bed, to be lying helpless in a hospital, to be unable to breathe and choking on some claustrophobic machine. I don't even think she's ever had an MRI.

     People who want to reopen just think it won't happen to them. Perhaps they care more about the new unemployed. They also likely have more at stake in the economy. If you're over 65 and especially if you have an underlying medical condition you should be worried about Covid-19. But if you're in your 20s or 30s, and you're perfectly healthy, but you have car payments and a college loan and rent due at the end of the month, you might think it's worth the pretty minimal risk of disease in order to keep your family together. After all, they might reason, you're more likely to be injured in a traffic accident on the way to work than fall victim to Covid-19.

     As the summer unfolds, no matter what our personal beliefs, we will all be going out more, seeing more people. So take a look at The Risks -- Know Them -- Avoid Them by Erin Bromage, biology professor at the University of Massachusetts. He has better advice than I could ever give about how to understand the virus, how it spreads, and how to protect ourselves as we do reopen.