12 Reasons Why Women Have It Easier Than Men

    I did a post awhile back called 10 Reasons Why Men Are Better Than Women. It's proved to be a very popular item  -- although I fear not for the humor involved, but for all the wrong reasons. Does anyone seriously think there are any reasons why men are better than women?

     Anyway, in the interest of, um, let's call it equal time, I thought I'd point out why . . . well, look at my title. So without further ado:

     1.  Women get to live longer than men -- in this country by an average of about 4 years. Although the way things are going with politics, the economy and the Boston Red Sox, this might very well be a mixed blessing.

     2.  Let's face it, women have the upper hand when it comes to sex. They decide if, when and under what circumstances sex will occur, with their husbands, boyfriends, or anybody else.

     3.  They get all kinds of praise and admiring looks just for lounging around on a couch, drinking beer and watching football on TV.

     4.  They get free drinks at bars.

     5.  They don't have prostate problems.

     6.  In school (and don't argue with me on this, I've done extensive research), four out of five teacher's pets are female.

     7.  They don't have to learn how to fix cars. They can call AAA without hesitation, embarrassment or fear of humiliation. Ditto for home repairs. The corollary: women can criticize men (for messing up the home repair, for example, or wearing the wrong shirt) while men can only compliment women (for wearing such a beautiful shirt) . . . and then get criticized because the compliments aren't good enough. (No, really, it's gorgeous. It highlights your eyes, makes them sparkle!)

     8.  Women get to ask directions.

     9.  Women can go to the doctor without feeling like a wimp.

     10. When women fail at work they can blame male chauvinism, the long tradition of male dominance, the glass ceiling, their husbands . . . anything but themselves. Men have no excuses. They can only blame their own dumbass selves.

     11. When traveling, women get to pack as many clothes and shoes, as much makeup and other paraphernalia as they want. It's up to the men to carry it all around.

     12. Women get to raise the kids, clean the house, hold down a job, handle the family finances, cook the meals, drive everyone around, arrange the family social schedule, all while taking care of their clueless husbands, their elderly mothers, their ne'er-do-well brothers (and brothers-in-law) and nursing anyone in the family or neighborhood who's sick.

     You see? You've got it all!

Retreat to the Farm

     You only have to spend a weekend in the country (or not even that) to know that August brings every farmer way too much squash.

     But you can never have enough corn . . .

     or tomatoes.

     You surely know what this is:
 

    And you probably know that this is . . . 

     But do you know that this is a spring house? There's a stream in back of this stone structure, with a spring bubbling up into the basement.

     Yes, even a small farm is a field of dreams.

     So let the sun(flower) shine in!

Remember Him?

     His birthday is coming up on Sept. 9. He was born in 1941, which would make him the same age as Bernie Sanders and Bob Dylan, as Ryan O'Neal and Joan Baez; the same age as Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel.

     Except he died in a plane crash in 1967.

Beechcraft H18

     He was born in Georgia to a family of sharecroppers who were also active in the church. He sang in the choir as a boy, and learned how to play piano, guitar and the drums. He played in his school band; and on Sundays he earned $6 singing for a local Macon, GA, radio station.

     When he was 15, he father contracted tuberculosis, and so he had to leave school and go to work to help support the family. He dug wells; he pumped gas; and he picked up a job here and there as a musician -- mainly playing piano for other local performers, including R&B singer Little Richard.

     He got his break in 1958 when he won a talent contest called "The Teenage Party" singing Little Richard's "Heebie Jeebies." As a result, he was recruited to be the frontman for Pat T. Cake and the Mighty Panthers, and then The Upsetters, and he toured on what was then known as the Chitlin' Circuit, a string of performance venues in the South and Midwest that were open to black musicians.

     A few years later, he found himself in Memphis, hanging out at the Stax studio for a recording session with Johnny Jenkins and Booker T. & the M.G.'s. The session ended early, and so he was allowed to try a couple of songs. Everybody was ready to go home; but when he started singing they all realized there was something special about his voice. "He really poured his soul into it," one of the musicians recalled.

     The song "These Arms of Mine" was recorded and released, and he was signed to a contract with Stax Records. He recorded several more songs, and in 1964 his first album Pain in My Heart came out and rose to No. 20 on the charts. And by now you might know that the man we're talking about is Otis Redding.

     In the meantime, he married a girl he'd met on The Teenage Party. They would have two sons and a daughter together, and adopt another son.

     Redding was soon playing at the Apollo Theater in New York where he performed with Ben E. King and the Coasters. He spent his time writing and recording more songs including "Respect"  and "I've been Loving You" which were both released on an album called Otis Blue: Otis Redding Sings Soul. (Of course, "Respect" was later made legendary by Aretha Franklin.)

     Redding bought a 300-acre property in Georgia which he called The Big O Ranch, and continued recording with Stax Studios in Memphis. In 1966 he covered "Try a Little Tenderness" a song previously offered by both Bing Crosby and Frank Sinatra. Backed by Booker T. & the M.G.'s, Redding gave the song a "negro perspective." The result was both a commercial and critical success, and it became his signature song for the rest of his life. For example, as the closing Saturday act at the Monterey Pop Festival in 1967, he sang "Respect" and "I'll Be Loving You" and finished with the soulful "Try a Little Tenderness."

     In early December 1967, Redding was back in Memphis recording his new song "(Sittin' on) the Dock of the Bay." He then flew to Cleveland in his Beechcraft H18 to play three shows. And then it was on to Madison, Wisconsin. The plane left during a rainstorm, and was just a few miles short of its destination when the pilot radioed for permission to land. Then the plane crashed into Lake Monona. There was one survivor, band member Ben Cauley. Otis Redding's body was recovered from the lake the next day.

     "(Sittin' on) the Dock of the Bay" was released posthumously and became Redding's only Number 1 hit record. Several other albums were later produced, consisting of Redding's previously unrecorded material. He was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 1989 with a declaration saying that Redding's name was "synonymous with the term soul, music that arose out of the black experience in America through the transmutation of gospel and rhythm and blues into a form of funky, secular testifying."

     Today, the Otis Redding Foundation is managed by his wife and daughter. The foundation offers scholarships, and sponsors a music camp and other programs to fulfill its mission to foster "progress through education and enlightenment through music."

    

Summer Rain

     An afternoon thunderstorm comes on fast . . .

     blows through the trees,

     and hoses us with a flood of water.

      It's over quickly, but leaves its mark.

      Oops, here it comes again!

 

This Is Not Your Great Aunt's Retirement

     When I was younger, my view of retirement was informed by my Aunt Han (short for Hannah, and actually, she was my mother's aunt). In my eight or ten-year-old mind, Aunt Han was a true spinster -- she'd been married once, but had been widowed for a long time. Her claim to fame, she told us incessantly, was that she was in Paris in 1927, one of a hundred thousand people who thronged to witness Charles Lindbergh land at Le Bourget airport after making his historic trans-Atlantic flight.

     But by the time I knew her, in the 1950s, Aunt Han was a wizened old lady who lived in a far-off land called Florida and came north to visit in the summer. She lived with our family for about a month, then stayed with my Uncle Tom for a few weeks before returning to the land of the heat and the old.

     She was a dour old woman who never smiled. She spent most of her time drinking tea and scolding us kids. My mother would sometimes make me sit at the kitchen table to keep her company. That was an excruciating experience, sitting there, watching her sip  tea. I'd scarf down my snack in 30 seconds. "Tommy, don't bolt your food; you could choke," she'd warn. "You're supposed to chew each bite 30 times before you swallow."

     Meanwhile, it could easily take Aunt Han an hour to eat one piece of toast. They were the longest hours of my life.

     So . . . how times have changed! We don't associate Baby Boomers with spinsters. And most of the retired people I know are doing a lot more than sitting around the kitchen nibbling on toast.

     Meryl Baer of Six Decades and Counting says that one of the advantages of retirement is the opportunity to do things that a working schedule doesn't allow, such as attending a Broadway matinee in New York City. She recently enjoyed a reunion with four long-time friends, enjoying a long lunch (including dessert!) and joining throngs of other tourists in the Big Apple.

     If you want to know what show she saw, open the curtain at One Friendly Summer Day in the City. Here's a hint: all five of the retirees walked out of the theater "with smiles, memories past and present, and familiar songs ringing in their ears."

Colorado 4052

     Meanwhile, Laura Lee Carter is going one better. In retirement she and her husband are building a new solar-powered home in the Colorado foothills. This week they're putting on the final touches and moving in.

     It's a chaotic time. But she is thrilled that she's met a new friend who knows people in her small town. And now, after all the preparation and anticipation, she is reminding herself that "all of this stress will pass, and then we will be set for some serious rest and relaxation!"

     I don't know if my Aunt Han had to worry about her medical bills. In any case, I'm sure they would seem quaint by our standards. On The Survive and Thrive Boomer Guide, Rita R. Robison, consumer journalist, writes about congressional restrictions on the government’s ability to negotiate with the pharmaceutical industry that causes Medicare Part D drug prices to be significantly higher than those paid by anyone else, including people on Medicaid and in dozens of other countries. Costs in the United States per capita for pharmaceuticals average $1,010 annually -- more than twice as much as in most other developed nations.

     That's enough to make us outraged, or in some cases even desperate. As Robison reminds us, Medicare Part D covers almost 40 million people, and an untold number of them do not fill their prescriptions for financial reasons.

     Kathy Gottberg of SmartLiving365 found a book, Desperate: Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe, about how moms sometimes feel desperate and need hope and encouragement to help them carry on. But that made her consider: Don't we all need help and encouragement, now and then?

     We all face challenges at different phases of life, and while feelings of desperation might be universal, what we're currently facing and how we're coping are usually quite different. So Gottberg has come up with 5 Ways to Cope with Life at This Stage -- issues that most of us will likely encounter somewhere in midlife or later, along with some possible solutions for helping us get through them . . . and be able to breathe.