Waste Money ... Who Me?

     Last night I saw B in front of her computer. I went over, and as I approached she quickly clicked off the page, and her email account flashed onto the screen.

     "Whatcha' lookin' at?" I queried innocently. I thought maybe she was searching on Homeaway, because we're starting to plan our summer vacation.

     She looked at me. Her face flushed a little. Then she sighed. "Well, actually, I was shopping."

     She clicked back onto the first page. I saw a pair of earrings, kind of spangly, probably made out of gold. I didn't really look very closely, because . . . well, because I don't know a thing about earrings.

     Then I did a double-take. The earrings cost $174.99. No wonder B was looking a a little guilty!

Waste of money?

     But I don't care. B has a job. She has her own money. She can spend it any way she wants. It's no business on mine if she wants to blow close to $200 for little shiny things to hang from her ears . . . that no one will even see because they'll be hidden by the hair that she's been growing out lately.

     Recently, B came home from work at the library and was amused to tell me about a woman who'd been asking for some tax forms. The woman confided in B that she filed her taxes separately because her husband gambled, and she didn't want any part of his finances.

     My sister also keeps her finances separate from her husband. This is her second marriage (and his third), and they got married late in life, so they'd been used to doing things their own way and they thought they'd keep it that way -- besides my brother-in-law fancies himself a day-trader in the stock market, so he has complicated taxes with a lot of short-term gains and losses. And my sister doesn't want any part of it.

     My brother-in-law sometimes brags about the money he's made. But my sister told me that he actually loses about $5,000 a year. "I don't let it bother me," she says. "After all, for him this is entertainment, and it costs less than owning a boat, or taking a vacation."

     So anyway, like I said, what business is it of mine if B wants to squander her money on jewelry. Or shoes. Or little knickknacks for the house.

     I guess, being a  (ahem) fiscally responsible person myself, I don't understand why people want to throw away their hard-earned money on useless stuff. I spend my money on more substantial goods and services, ones that are socially responsible and contribute to the greater good of mankind. For example: golf.

     No, wait! Seriously. By playing golf I help employ a dozen or so American workers -- mostly senior citizens -- who help run the course. The golf course provides much-needed green space in my overcrowded suburb. And it also provides an inviting environment for wildlife, such as deer, raccoons, skunks, snakes, ticks, mosquitoes. And geese. The geese provide lots of fertilizer.

Good investment?

     I play on the public courses and pay about $40 a round. B has never once accused me of wasting money on golf. And why would she? I'm actually saving money. After all, I could join a fancy country club. It might cost me $10,000 a year. At that rate it would cost me $300 or $400 a round. So by going to the public course, I save $250 to $350 every day. The more I play, the more I save!

     I've been eyeing a new driver down at the golf shop. It costs $399.00. Does that seem expensive? Maybe. But on a cost-per-pound basis, it's a much better deal than the earrings.

     This is just one example. There's my new car . . . I could have gotten a Mercedes like my friend Joe, so I saved a lot of money in buying a Honda instead. My gym membership . . . okay, I don't use it that much, but I save $15 a month because I'm a senior citizen. At the rate I'm going, we'll have saved up enough money to pay for vacation in no time.

     Anyway, after our little encounter at the computer, I went into the kitchen and got myself a snack. A few minutes later I saw B was still at the computer. I wandered over, and saw . . .  she's still looking at earrings. Only these earrings cost $224.99!

     However, being the suave, debonaire, cool-as-a-cucumber guy that I am, I didn't even react. I just nodded thoughtfully. "Those are nice," I mused. "But, I think I like the other ones better."

     She looked up. "Yeah, I agree," she said. "Besides, I'd be saving $50. That'll help pay for our vacation."