Not us. B and I got involved in a group called the Center for Learning in Retirement, sponsored by our local university, with courses taught by volunteers. So at the center B and I volunteer to host Great Decisions in Foreign Policy, the popular, nationwide course produced by the Foreign Policy Association.
We don't get paid for volunteering. But we have met a few friends, and we do get a lot of positive feedback and stroking of our egos. Plus, we're learning a few things about the international situation.
We both are also taking separate courses. I go to a class on the Constitution, while B is doing one on self-discovery. I have a friend in my class who is taking five courses. "If I'm not here," he confided to me, "I'd just be at home, probably reading a book. When the weather gets warmer, I'll be out in the garden. But there really isn't too much for me to do."
I think this friend is facing some boredom issues in retirement, and perhaps some loneliness as well. He is married. But aside from that he doesn't seem to have much interaction with people.
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| One retirement activity we do NOT do |
I joined a league consisting mostly of retired teachers. I was invited into the group by a man named Bruce from B's church. Bruce a very nice guy who also invited me to meet up with him in Florida in January to play a round of golf. He's a retired social studies teacher and high-school football coach, and he's a popular guy in the golf league.
That doesn't mean he gets away without a lot of harassment from his friends. You know, in general, guys tend to express affection by insulting one another and making bad jokes. When Bruce introduced me to the group, last fall, he announced to everyone on the first tee. "Hey, I want you to meet my friend Tom. He's new to the group."
A couple of guys called out, "Welcome," and "Hi." But one guy laughed and said, "Well, what do you know ... Bruce has a friend!" A chorus of laughter followed.
I've also joined a table tennis club that meets on Monday nights. Meanwhile, B has become active in her church, and goes walking with some friends and meets some of them for lunch at least once a week.
As a retired couple, we go out to dinner more often than we used to. We go to our local movie theater more often. We occasionally go dancing. And of course we travel more ... although I believe we'd be considered homebodies by some bloggers who seem to head off to Europe, Africa or South America at the drop of a hat.
So what do you do, as a retiree, that's different from when you were working and raising a family? What do you love about retirement?
We're just starting to appreciate the joys of being grandparents. B and I have four kids between us, but only two grandchildren so far. We're hoping for more.
Meanwhile, I love not having to keep to a work schedule, and being free to go wherever we want, whenever we want. Just last weekend B and I made a spur-of-the-moment trip to New York to see my son. We stayed one night (at a discounted AARP rate), had dinner at a fancy restaurant, went out to Brooklyn to see my son's new apartment. And at the senior rate, the 80-minute train trip up to New York only cost us $7.25 a piece.
Last week we applied for our senior SEPTA card (the Philadelphia train, subway and bus system called Southeastern Pennsylvania Transportation Authority). We'll be able to ride for free. So now we're planning a day trip to see a concert at the Kimmel Center.
But the best thing about retirement is that my stress levels have gone way down, as a weight has lifted off my shoulders since I quit the rat race. I no longer have to compete with colleagues at work, pushing for a raise, angling for a promotion. I no longer care whether I get a bigger office or a better title. I appreciate the freedom from the pressure to get ahead, pay the mortgage and bills, get the kids into college, keep up with the neighbors. I don't have to please my parents; no longer bear the responsibility for my kids.
I admit, B and I sometimes face issues in retirement. We watch our spending, since we're on a fixed income. There are the physical problems like aching joints and hearing and vision issues, and the doctor visits. And sometimes both B and I wonder what the point of it all is. Yeah, we're having fun. But what's our purpose in life? How do we redefine ourselves?
But for the most part, at least so far, retirement has been a great journey for us. I hope it has been for you too.
10 comments:
I'm 6 yrs into retirement and like you, I love not having to keep to a work schedule. Or as I say, I love not punching the clock. I still revel in the slow mornings. My life may appear boring to outsiders but I'm not bored. There is always a list of things left undone, even in retirement. I often say that retirement allowed me to become more of who I am without the parameters of work. For the first time in my life, I have uninterrupted time in my home. I've been single now for 27 yrs; I was a single mother for many years raising my son; I completed post-secondary education, then worked FT for 33 of the 34 years I was employed. I was ready for this respite. So, what do I do in retirement? I tend to myself and my rural property as well as my aged mother's; I enjoy cooking, baking and gardening; I socialize more without the constraints of an alarm clock telling me it's time to go to work; I enjoy music and concerts and host regular house concerts through a Home Routes organization; I volunteer with a community association and occasionally with Habitat for Humanity; i go on road trips and travel out of the country occasionally, the last trip was to Portugal. I think it was Bob @ satisfyingretirement that said my days are made up of things that need doing and want doing. And in the end, if I think I have nothing do, I can always go for a walk or read a good book.
My number one love of retirement is flexiblity. I am not a daily routine kind of person, last night was a sleepeless night so I took a piece of benadryl and then slept till nine, yesterday I was up before eight. I do think. cliche that it is, that people who have interest outside of work and family before retirement have a better adjustment. I also think sometimes ther are unreal expectations-excitement every day!!-kind of things. I am great at self entertaining but even I occasionally have the "chat can I do today" kind of day. I think that's life. But even on those days when I putter around the house as opposed to "doing" a specific thing, I know that I am much happier in retirement. And everyone needsto find their "level" of activity versus chilling time. I did not take any seminar or class for the spring and I am missing it and know I want to get back intothat. Like you, we eat out more. Travel has turned mainly into vacations in my case (a week at the beach, a week in hill country). Admittedly more of my pre retirement life was as an at home wife and parent than as a working one, which I am sure affects my ability to find things to do, especially in my own house and yard.
You seem to enjoy your retirement, so congrats. When I retired, I wrote and self published 3 memoirs and edited 1 anthology. I grossed $8,000. I also wrote columns for 2 newspapers and managed to be paid $900 for them. Now, I play my violin and write a blog. I don't have a bad retirement, especially since I have a loving husband, too.
I love to learn things that will help me save money and make me more independent. Things that will enable me to make small DIY electrical/plumbing repairs, paint walls, etc..And you don't even have to leave the comfort of your home to learn. You've got it all on the web.
Volunteering is work, and thus brings stress albeit not the kind of stress we get at the place where we work for wages.
The fact that you have doctor appointments indicates that stress and nutrition (eating out) are not properly dealt with.
Retirement period is short. One should focus on one's self, less on others to avoid wasting precious left time on fruitless interactions.
I do have to comment on the above. speaking only for mself, volunteering is a stress reliever as well as a social activity on occasion. I realize different people have different perspectives but i don't consider volunteerism work and I suspect (could be wrong) that Tom does not either. I consider intereactions with others one of the highlights of my retirement lifestyle.
I have to say I'm loving the freedom - I was a workaholic, always worried about kids and money, single parent. This self time is divine. I am so glad I have lived this long when so many don't. I read voraciously, knit, socialize at my choosing, take positions at a recovery group I never had time for before, formed a seniors' activist group, have a writing group, see more of my niece's young children, blog (of course!) and read blogs. Politics are making me ill and stressed.
I'm thinking of unplugging and making my world a lot smaller and more stress-free. Democracy is a sham.
XO
WWW
Hmmm, I hadn't considered whether volunteering could create stress. I guess it could, depending on what you're doing. But for me, whether I'm tutoring or running a class, I feel some anticipation, maybe even some nerves, and some excitement. But I wouldn't say it's stress, or if it is, it's the good kind.
Hi Tom! As you know I/we aren't retired yet so I can't really comment from that perspective. Fortunately my husband and I have been self employed most of our lives and able to enjoy much of the flexibility that most people seem to enjoy the most. And because we have that flexibility, and are appreciating the ongoing income, we don't have any plans to retire anytime soon. Fortunately our health is also complying. I also appreciate your honesty about where you are feeling fulfilled and where a question pops in now and then. That seems completely normal to me. Most people are so eager to leave work they don't really like, that they don't know what to do with themselves once it's gone. I admire both your commitment to classes and learning as well as your volunteer work. In fact, my reading indicates that if you volunteer for the "right" reasons, meaning you truly desire to help, then there isn't stress and it is actually very good for you on every level. The only time volunteerism isn't helpful is if you feel forced or if you are only doing it to please others. I would hope that if I/we ever decide to retire then I too would continue learning at all cost, volunteering because it feeds my soul, socializing because I enjoy it and travel. Meanwhile, I'm attempting to do all that BEFORE I retire! ~Kathy
I love owning my own time...
What I love about retirement is the solitude I now have. I worked in corporate America for almost 40 years, doing customer service and corporate training and mentoring, and was in constant contact with people every day. I enjoyed the work, but two years into retirement I do not miss any of it. I have no desire for routine (too much like work) and no desire for volunteering (too much like work) and no desire for social activities involving a lot of people (too much like work).
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