Here We Are: Pre-Postracial

     I don't believe that I accomplished what I wanted with my last post. My intention was not particularly to point a finger at my friend, but to increase awareness in myself and others that despite whatever progress we've made in our lifetimes, many of us still have racial stereotypes -- partly because we're still largely a segregated society, and many of us deal with it by simply ignoring the issue. When we are segregated, we can lead our lives in the comfort of believing we're not racist, even as we have nothing to do with other races.

     At the same time, it's easy to attribute everything to racism, and then be done with it, as though that explains everything, when it doesn't.

     For example, I surely believe that racism plays a part in some people's criticism of President Obama. But as Douglas and Dianne suggest, you can't then generalize that the criticism and disrespect and vitriol shown to our president is based on race. After all, there were just as many liberals who disrespected George W. Bush as there are conservatives who disrespect Barack Obama. And there were plenty of Clinton haters, Reagan haters, etc. -- and none of that was ever based on race. So as Truman (who had plenty of his own critics) once said, If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.

     Also, there's a question of semantics. A racist is someone who takes the behavior or characteristics of a few people -- usually negative ones -- and then generalizes those qualities to an entire race. My friend would be a racist if he concluded that because a few black workers were underperforming complainers, then all blacks must be underperforming complainers. He wasn't actually doing that.

     It's more likely that he is prejudiced – meaning he had a preconception of what these employees would be like based on the color of their skin, and that preconception influenced his opinion of them. But here to me is a more difficult question: What if his description of those women is reasonably accurate? He wasn't on a rant by any means, just telling about a few particular workers in his office. What if they really were lousy secretaries? That is possible. Then you're just proving his point – that as a white male he can't criticize a black woman, no matter what.

     I'm not defending this guy. He's a lawyer, and lawyers often believe the worst in people. But what I'm trying to point out is exactly what a couple of people have said -- that racism, or prejudice, exists in our midst, even among the "nicest" people, and it often is so deeply embedded in our psyches that, as DJan pointed out, we don't even realize it.

     I certainly agree we still have racism in our society. I see it in the lily white suburbs many of us live in, and the lily white schools we send our children to. I saw it the other day, not at any sort of "southern pride" parade, but when I went to an "artsy" theater production in New York – the audience full of "artsy" white people, but not one single person of color. And I saw it the other day on TV – the players on the college football field were largely black, the fans in the stands were almost exclusively white.

     I think a lot of people are scared to talk about race. I confess I hesitated before posting my last item (and this one too), for fear that people would come down on me like a ton of bricks ... or come down on my friend like a ton of bricks. It is certainly safer and more comfortable to just ignore the issue. It's also easy to be an armchair anti-racist – to decry racism in others when in your own day-to-day life you rarely even see a person of another color.

     Like Barb, I think that those of us who are older have certain attitudes that are deeply ingrained. For the most part we Boomers are more tolerant, more accepting, more open to people of other colors and ethnicities than our parents were, much less our grandparents before them. I remember my grandmother, an ethnic Czech who'd immigrated from Austria, didn't think much of blacks, but the people she really hated were Poles. I don't know why, but she thought they were the worst, and you could not tell her any different.

     Anyway, the point is, we are not color blind. But I don't think my friend is a whole lot different from the rest of us; rather, I think he serves as an example of what a lot of well-meaning whites are like.

     I'm just saying, we still have a long way to go. And the proof of that? We can see it every day because we live in a largely segregated society. Go to many of our American cities -- sure, there are a few mixed neighborhoods, but by and large there are white neighborhoods and black neighborhoods, and never the twain do meet. Or, to make it more personal:  If you are white, when was the last time you had a black person over to your house for dinner? Or if you're black, when was the last time a white person was breaking bread with you in your home?

     Here's another uncomfortable question:  Is racism tied up inexorably with class and income? Most people don't think twice when they walk into a medical office, for example, and see professionals of all different colors. But those same people might not feel safe walking through North Philadelphia after dark.

     Anyway, I do see more progress ahead. I think perhaps the next step toward racial equality will be taken by our children. One of my daughter's best friends in high school was a girl from India. One of her best friends in college was half black, half Asian. One of my son's best friends was born in Korea; he was adopted and raised by an Italian-American Catholic family and he just married a black woman who is Muslim.

     We Baby Boomers inaugurated the first black president. Maybe the next generation will inaugurate a truly post-racial America.