"I can't be a pessimist, because I'm alive. To be a pessimist means that you have agreed that human life is an academic matter." -- James Baldwin

Friday, November 25, 2011

Did You Ever Wonder Why ...

 
     Sometimes you wonder why certain words mean what they mean, or you're puzzled by particular phrases or sayings. A few of the following queries are original, but most have been stolen ... I mean, collected off the Internet. Read 'em and scratch your head:

     Why . . .
     is "abbreviated" such a long word?
     is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?

     Why ...
     didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
     doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

      Why ...
     do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
     do they they call the airport a "terminal" if flying is so safe?

     And why ...
     is "phonetically" is spelled with a "ph"?
     is a round pizza delivered in a square box?
     isn't there a synonym for Thesaurus?

     Why ...
     do people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up every two hours?
     do we lose brain cells as we age, but fat cells last forever?
     does flammable mean the same as inflammable?

Why ...
     did Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
     did they ever put an "s" in the word "lisp"?
     do we park in a driveway, and drive in a parkway?
     do women wear a pair of panties but only one bra?

     And finally, just ponder this point, which has been made before but is now truer than ever:  If con is the opposite of pro, does that make congress the opposite of progress?

     For more, similar ruminations, truisms and head-scratchers:  Try out some oldtime Steven Wright jokes, or go to Ruminations for a younger take on things, or else Lemondrop to see how women slice it up.

8 comments:

schmidleysscribblins,wordpress.com said...

I know the answer to some of these, but your list is long. The words flammable and inflammable are used interchangeably because when they put inflammable on those trucks carrying inflammable material or garments prone to flames, folks did not understand what the word meant.

So, the powers that make these dicisions (government) decided to change the word so stupid people would not take chances. That's the way it usually goes isn't it? We play to the lowest common denominator. Dianne

stephen Hayes said...

I'm also a fan of old Steven Wright jokes. One of my favorites: I used to work at a factory that made fire hydrants. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.

Roberta Warshaw said...

You sound just like Andy Rooney! R.I.P.

June said...

Forget the mosquitoes . . . why didn't Noah leave the ticks behind???

Arkansas Patti said...

Great questions that made me smile. Really liked the last one.

Bob Lowry said...

Had me laughing out loud Saturday morning. Shared them with my wife who needed a chuckle.

Thanks for the boost!

Dr. Kathy McCoy said...

I love your musings, Tom! There's a lot of think about here!

Lucie said...

Hilarious... and true. The brain cells and fat cells had me snorting my coffee this morning. So unfair!!