"In this sticky web that we're all in, behaving decently is no small task." -- Novelist Stacey D'Erasmo

Saturday, December 6, 2014

Am I Going Crazy?

     Do you have vivid dreams? Do you even remember your dreams?

     Some people ask: Do you dream in color or black and white? I don't quite get that question, because it suggests you're sitting there watching your dream, like you're watching a movie. But when I dream, I'm not watching the movie, I'm in the movie.

     But honestly, most of the time I do not have very vivid dreams, and I usually don't even remember them. Or if I do, I think about them briefly when I wake up -- but they are forgotten by the time I sit down for breakfast.

      But recently -- for the past week or ten days -- I've been having very dramatic, action-packed dreams. So right away, what's that all about?

     So, last night . . .

     I was in a park, walking down a grassy hill toward the parking lot. My three kids were running ahead of me. (They were my three kids in the dream, but they weren't my real-life kids -- I only have two real-life kids.) Then they were running out across a frozen pond, and I called to them to wait up for me. "And get off that pond -- you don't know if it's frozen all the way!"

     I ran down to the pond and climbed up on a big rock, with a wooden walkway going up the side, trying to get around the shoreline. Suddenly I saw a car across the pond, and it turned and came screaming across the ice, right toward me. It crashed into the wooden scaffolding below me, then turned around and sped back across the ice, kicking up the ice behind it, leaving a skid-mark trail of black water.

     I scrambled down off the rock, circled around the side of the pond and chased two of my kids -- the oldest one had made it across the pond and was waiting for us at the edge of the parking lot. I caught my middle child -- a girl, maybe around ten years old, who was skinny and stick-like. I tackled her and grabbed her arm before she could run away . . . and I woke up.

     Then . . . I was shopping in New York City, along Fifth Avenue. I went into one store and looked around. I walked back out onto the street. I was killing time, waiting for someone (my wife?) who was also shopping. I continued uptown a little way, ducked into another store, then I bought something, and I remember I was shuffling my coat and my bag and a couple of other things -- an umbrella maybe? Finally, I left the store and walked home to the Upper West Side. I got inside my apartment and took off my coat, and felt my front right pocket. My wallet was missing!

     And I woke up. I was sure my wallet was missing. I was so sure that I started to get out of bed to go find my wallet. But then, I remembered placing it on the desk in my office downstairs when I got home last night. I wasn't really missing my wallet, I finally realized, it was a dream. And so I went back to sleep, although it took me quite a while to drop off again . . .

     And now I am sitting at a table in a coffee shop -- or maybe it's a bar -- again in Manhattan, but downtown in Greenwich Village or someplace like that. It is summertime, and people are sitting at tables on the sidewalk. I am expecting someone.

     I gaze out the window, and I see Bob Hope at one of the tables, and he's talking to some people and laughing and obviously regaling them with a funny story. Then Al Sharpton walks in and sits down at my table. We know each other (not in real life, but in the dream). He wants my advice on the political campaign he's about to launch. "Oh, so what are you running for?" I ask. "The Los Angeles City Council?"

     "No, of course not," he says. "For the City Council in New York. Can you help me? What's my strategy?"

     I am a little taken aback, because I'm not a political consultant. I tell him, "Well, I know public relations (which I do not in real life), but politics is not my specialty. But let's talk this out and see if we can come up with some ideas."

     Then we both look outside and see Bob Hope. I ask Al Sharpton if he likes being famous, if he's ever intimidated when he's around other famous people. He shakes his head, no. And I wake up.

     B is coming into the bedroom, heading for the shower. She usually gets up before me, around 6:30 or 7 a.m. I usually get out of bed between 7 and 7:30 a.m.. "What time is it?" I ask.

     "It's quarter to nine," she replies, and ducks into the bathroom.

     So I get out of bed. I haven't slept this late in years, and I started to wonder:  Am I going crazy?

16 comments:

Anonymous said...

Years ago, I into into dream analysis big time. Let me see what I an remember....

A Freudian would probably tell you the third child is your inner child. Strange that's its a sickly little girl.

A jungian would say she is your Imago, or alternative self...always the opposite sex. According to some analysts we spend our lives searching for this other self from whom we were separated at birth.

i haven't looked at this stuff in ages, so I could be wrong.

June said...

Nahh, you aren't going crazy. You slept later than usual, and therefore probably more lightly than usual. I'd bet all those dreams happened as you were getting closer to waking up, no? Certainly anxiety . . . afraid you aren't taking care of things/people as well as you should? ...lack of control over events/people? The Al Sharpton/Bob Hope part really leaves me in the weeds, though. I don't get that at all. I suppose you'd have to think about what you would feel like if it actually happened . . . would you feel flattered, frightened, excited? ...and are you wishing for those feelings?

I love dreaming! For me it's like going to the movies while I'm wasting time sleeping.

stephen Hayes said...

Seeing Al Sharpton in your sleep is more than a dream; it's a nightmare, and I'm a liberal.

Anonymous said...

I got all my groceries yesterday and got my coupons at the ready, it was packed, I did not have enough money with my many coupons and discounts for the purchase. The checkout lady whipped her visa card and said Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays..It was not a dream, I was so embarrassed and tired I said thank you and assured her I was going to repay her she said pay it forward..I raced home with my husband and got my last check out of my checkbook and got to the checkout and made the check out and gave her about $5.00 for her kindness she did not want to take it but I insisted...I never carry checks and I did have my Visa card in the bottom of my stuffed purse just could not get it out quick enough..This was the nicest lady and I did remember talking to her when she worked at the store a long while back, she made my day.Oh, my goodness sakes alive, I thought I was dreamin cause I do this for many people and never thought it would ever happen to me, just for food, she made me re-group about what is important in life, kindness and love for others, NOT A DREAM AT ALL..May your holidays be filled with the love and kindness that was given to me on a huge packed shopping grocery day, it made my whole season..She knew me from a long time ago and I always mentioned I liked to give and not to receive well she took care of that oh, my goodness sakes alive..Remember this the whole holiday season angels appear when you are in a situation they really really do and they are not a fog or a dream at all,& happy holidays, ciao!

Olga said...

If you feel the need to ask that questions, the answer is usually "no." Watch out when you stop feeling like you are going crazy.

DJan said...

Oh, I laughed at Stephen's comment, and I'm a liberal, too. Your dreams are kind of fun, and who cares if they mean anything or not. Thanks for sharing them. I often dream in vivid color, ones that I don't see in real life very often, and some dreams are so real that I often wonder if they happened or not, like your wallet dream. :-)

Rosaria Williams said...

Ah, the power of dreams to guide, scare, put breaks on, challenge us to find meaning...
I read recently that dreams are the way our brain tries to organize disparate materials we have collected, and make sense of all that junk. We dream to clean house and make room for more junk.

Tabor said...

Your dreams involve loss of something. You also are waiting for someone or something in these dreams. I think if you look at your real life these may explain. We are nearing the holidays and that bring up past pains...perhaps it is those memories you are putting back into your mind. I will charge you nothing for this analysis since that is exactly what it is worth.

Meryl Baer said...

I have no idea what your dreams mean. Maybe the moral of the story is don't sleep late!

Anonymous said...

I am finding that the older I get the more dreams I am having. Is this a premonition of what passing on will be like? I'll have consciousness and continue to exist in a dream-like environment? I'm sort of liking my dreams and have started looking forward to spending more time inside them. Does that mean I am nearing death? Is this the way God prepares me for living onward after I am gone from this world? I have discovered that I have said things in my dreams that I couldn't possibly have had knowledge of. I find myself to be extremely smart and knowing in the dreams.
As for that 3rd child you dreamed about, have you ever had a miscarriage, abortion or fathered a child you didn't know about? Have you ever seen the movie: Heaven Is For Real? The boy having the dreams dreamt about a sister he would have met, had his mother not miscarried. The boy met his sister in heaven.
I can fully understand Al Sharpton because he has been in the news day & night. The last time Bob Hope was mentioned was during the PBS special for Jay Leno a few weeks ago (Leno was compared to Bob Hope). Perhaps you heard the name then? And of course, you will most assuredly meet Bob Hope up in heaven.
Dream away Tom and enjoy them. For if that is what passing on will be like, I plan on having a lot of fun! In my dreams, of course.

Linda Myers said...

For a month or so this fall I had vivid dreams about the job I left over four years ago. Night after night I was trying to quit and kept showing up. Or came back for a week. I usually don't remember my dreams at all so this was kind of weird. Maybe getting ready to make our annual transition between Washington and Arizona triggered them.

Kirk said...

I've found that if I consciously try to analyze a dream immediately upon waking that I'll remember it. But that occurs only if I find it to be striking in some way.

And I do dream in color.

Douglas said...

To answer your question: Yes, obviously but, then, aren't we all?
When someone asks if you dream in color, they mean: Is there color in your dream? Not that you are viewing the dream like a movie.
Have you been sick, like with the flu? Most of my weirdest dreams have been when I was ill and running a fever.

JudyC said...

I dream all the time. Lots of crazy, funny stuff. But I have one recurring dream and have had it for years. I dream I am back in college and I suddenly realize that I have not been to class or completed an assignment the whole semester and it is coming to an end. Sometimes I even forget where and when my class meets. I did pretty well in school so I don't know why I keep dreaming this. I have read that this is a common recurring dream. But why?

Hauola said...

Dreams seem to be an escape and a little crazy stirred in is good! From the dreams I can recollect come morning there are often portions of those that have happenings with impossible touches. Merely segments not lined up with the present world, but just enough of real life to make one wonder upon awakening if it indeed it is real and not a dream. The longer luxuriant sleep durations open up the dream world for me. On most occasions when I have recall of a dream I find myself wanting to pick up where that dream so abruptly ended.

Rita said...

Dreams are interesting and can be the key to helping you figure out things in your life. I write mine down most mornings.

I've attended several dream workshops by Jeremy Taylor. You might want to look for one of his books on dreams, the latest being "The Wisdom of Your Dreams: Using Dreams to Tap Into Your Unconscious and Transform Your Life."

Taylor says only the dreamer knows what the dream means. So in his workshops, others begin by saying, "If it were my dream..."

So if the dream you described about the children on the ice was my dream, I'd say it was about safety. Urgent safety. There are two threats, not just one. One of the threats is fast moving, but it was thankfully averted.

The missing wallet might be related to money concerns, would I have enough money for something.

Al Sharpton.I know about public relations, so if I could help Al reach a goal, I could help myself reach a goal, too. But, I might be worried about being famous and giving up too much of my privacy. Then, if Bob Hope is having such a good time, I might be able to also.

Do check into dream analysis. I really enjoyed Jeremy Taylor's workshops. He's a real inspiration.

Rita blogging at The Survive and Thrive Boomer Guide