"Just Tell Me the Real Price, Please!"

     Something's been bothering me lately. It's all the extra surcharges that seem to have cropped up, anywhere and everywhere you buy something.

     It hit home when I started booking my February trip to Arizona and California. Forget the airline, which is going to charge me for having the audacity, the sheer nerve, to bring a suitcase along with me. I'm thinking of the one-week rental I'm taking in San Diego. There's the base price of $1,299 for the week. It's expensive; but four of us will be there for at least part of the time, so we need two bedrooms, and when we split up the cost it's not all that much.

     But wait ... that just scratches the surface. There's an 11 percent hotel tax. Okay ... you gotta pay the government. Then there's a $125 cleaning fee. Don'cha think that's kind of steep for a two-bedroom townhouse?

     But that's not all. There's a "Peace of Mind" damage insurance fee of $25 that covers breakage. It's mandatory. You pay $25 whether you break something or not.

     You can opt for additional coverage, at more expense of course. And you can buy travel insurance -- because if you cancel for any reason, including serious illness, the rental office will only refund your money if they rent out the premises to someone else. And even then they'll exact a 10% penalty.

     There are yet more optional charges, but you get the picture. The $1,299 rental will really end up costing north of $1,600.

     Okay, you say, don't deal with these people if you don't like it. But, unfortunately, I see this kind of transaction becoming the norm, rather than the exception.

     It used to be only car dealers who tried to pull these shenanigans. They advertise one low price. But before you drive out of the showroom, they’ve somehow added on a list of fees like the “sports package,” the “safety option” and the “destination charge.” Then there’s the sales tax. And the financing charges. And if you lease a car? The extra fees just pile up faster.

     Last year I bought a car through one of the big box stores. I refused all the extra options. It was about as simple a purchase as you can get. Yet even with that, there was quite a difference between the advertised price, or what I think of as the “base price” and the real price I had to pay.

     The price of the car was $27,653. But that was the base price. Once we added the destination charge, the state tax, and three or four hidden charges (including something called a “Dealer Optional Fee,” whatever that is) the actual cost was $30,385. An extra $2,732. Almost 10 percent more. And that’s without the financing costs.

     Unfortunately, instead of the car companies getting better, the rest of the consumer universe is getting worse. I bought two new tires. “Oh, it’s not bad,” the auto mechanic assured me, “only 99 bucks a piece.” But once he added the weight charge, the EPA tire fee, the balancing fee and the local tax, the real price for two tires was $258. An extra 30 percent!

     Auto insurance? By the time they tote it all up, it’s twice what the basic rate is. And the bill adds insult to injury with a $5 “Law Enforcement Fee.” I don’t know what that is, except it probably makes it easier for the police to give me a ticket.

     And have you looked at your cable bill, or your cellphone bill? My basic phone and email charge is $101. But add up all the service charges, administrative charges, usage charges, surcharges and state and local taxes, and the monthly bill comes to $155.

     I bought two tickets to a sports event, for $60 each. They wanted to charge me extra -- to print the ticket from my computer! I skipped that (they sent tickets by mail for free), but still got assessed a “convenience fee” and an “order processing fee” and instead of $120, it was $139.25.

     I purchased two tickets to a Shakespeare production. In addition to the ticket price, I had to pay a “facilities fee” and an “online processing fee.” What would the Bard say about that?

     I’m not detailing all these annoying, and ultimately expensive, fees just to complain. Instead, consider this a warning. A wake-up call. When you budget for a new purchase, make sure you account for the difference between the “base price” and the real price. And you might consider this:  The bigger the difference, the more the business is being dishonest. It’s trying to “bait” you with a seemingly low price, then “switch” you to a higher price.

     Avoid those fees if you can. If you can’t, say something, just so they know you’re “on” to them.

     Unless . . . if we could figure out how to add some extra fees into our paychecks or Social Security checks. Imagine looking at your pay stub and seeing a couple of extra line items – you collect an extra $140 as a “work optional” fee and another $75 as a “showing up” fee.

     Yeah, that’ll happen.